A General Red-Flag Guide If You’ve Been Dating/Getting Interested In A Partner That Isn’t Good For You!

So I’ve been around the rink a few times, before I ended happily with my soulmate and husband! My friends have been taking notes, and they’ve told me a bunch of information from their own experiences (plus observations from my failed relationships)

They/You Complain About You/Them To Someone Else Constantly, From the Start

This was a HUGE problem, according to my best friend. All of my failed relationships, there was something that was actually a detriment to a good and healthy relationship. (ei. they constantly asked for a poly relationship when you didn’t want one, they never put any effort into making you feel loved, etc.) As they say, things said behind your back is a better view of how people see you!

A Lack of Communication That Effects Your Everyday Life

One time, my ex got mad at me, for no reason, and didn’t tell me. This happened several times. This is why they’re my ex. If they don’t express what they want or what they need, they’re no different from a child, and you really shouldn’t be dating one!

No Respect For Your Personal Boundaries/Alone Time/YOU!!

Some days, I need my own time and place to relax. Back in high school, I was busy with after school activities, college prep, testing prep, grades: The whole hustle. We finally had a Monday off from school, and they asked me to hang out — I asked for a day to rest up a little, seeing as I saw them after school everyday. They got mad at me, claiming I was making excuses. Best friend said that was DEFINITELY not okay. A good partner would understand your needs and understand that people need a break sometimes!

They Only Care About Themselves

They only care about what they want, and what they need. A crush once took my headphones, while I was using them, because they wanted to “listen to something really quick.” I asked for them back, because I needed them for an audiobook for class, but then they said “You aren’t using them.” Clearly, this is a selfish act, so this isn’t a great sign either. Your partner should be willing to help you as much as you help them!

They Won’t Tell You ANYTHING

They act distant, and don’t seem to want to be involved with you. That’s a really bad sign, because that means they’re disinterested... Or, they’re trying to make you “to get more involved with them” by slowly feeding you information about them so they become more “interesting” — This is the beginning of a manipulator. Your partner should at least be telling you that funny thing that happened at school/work!

They... Are Not Clean

Someone who doesn’t shower means they don’t care about themselves. I’m sure that’s self explanatory. If they don’t care for themselves, how are they gonna care about you?

They Pick Fights

Over the smallest things... One time, I had a partner who I was talking with about lipstick. I simply said that I didn’t like bright red lipstick, because it wouldn’t match my style/ I thought it made my lips look bigger, and they started yelling at me... About lipstick preferences. That’s a red flag in of itself... If they truly liked you, why would they choose something so simple to fight over?

They Make You Beg For Their Attention

You definitely shouldn’t be buying gifts for your partner if they aren’t doing the same. Especially if it’s a holiday or birthday. If they can’t even be bothered to send you a little happy birthday text, why should you every year? Your partner should always be wanting to keep you happy, or at least trying to show your love toward you. You should definitely do the same!!!!

Submitted July 16, 2019 at 12:18AM

So I’ve been around the rink a few times, before I ended happily with my soulmate and husband! My friends have been taking notes, and they’ve told me a bunch of information from their own experiences (plus observations from my failed relationships)They/You Complain About You/Them To Someone Else Constantly, From the StartThis was a HUGE problem, according to my best friend. All of my failed relationships, there was something that was actually a detriment to a good and healthy relationship. (ei. they constantly asked for a poly relationship when you didn’t want one, they never put any effort into making you feel loved, etc.) As they say, things said behind your back is a better view of how people see you!A Lack of Communication That Effects Your Everyday LifeOne time, my ex got mad at me, for no reason, and didn’t tell me. This happened several times. This is why they’re my ex. If they don’t express what they want or what they need, they’re no different from a child, and you really shouldn’t be dating one!No Respect For Your Personal Boundaries/Alone Time/YOU!!Some days, I need my own time and place to relax. Back in high school, I was busy with after school activities, college prep, testing prep, grades: The whole hustle. We finally had a Monday off from school, and they asked me to hang out — I asked for a day to rest up a little, seeing as I saw them after school everyday. They got mad at me, claiming I was making excuses. Best friend said that was DEFINITELY not okay. A good partner would understand your needs and understand that people need a break sometimes!They Only Care About ThemselvesThey only care about what they want, and what they need. A crush once took my headphones, while I was using them, because they wanted to “listen to something really quick.” I asked for them back, because I needed them for an audiobook for class, but then they said “You aren’t using them.” Clearly, this is a selfish act, so this isn’t a great sign either. Your partner should be willing to help you as much as you help them!They Won’t Tell You ANYTHINGThey act distant, and don’t seem to want to be involved with you. That’s a really bad sign, because that means they’re disinterested... Or, they’re trying to make you “to get more involved with them” by slowly feeding you information about them so they become more “interesting” — This is the beginning of a manipulator. Your partner should at least be telling you that funny thing that happened at school/work!They... Are Not CleanSomeone who doesn’t shower means they don’t care about themselves. I’m sure that’s self explanatory. If they don’t care for themselves, how are they gonna care about you?They Pick FightsOver the smallest things... One time, I had a partner who I was talking with about lipstick. I simply said that I didn’t like bright red lipstick, because it wouldn’t match my style/ I thought it made my lips look bigger, and they started yelling at me... About lipstick preferences. That’s a red flag in of itself... If they truly liked you, why would they choose something so simple to fight over?They Make You Beg For Their AttentionYou definitely shouldn’t be buying gifts for your partner if they aren’t doing the same. Especially if it’s a holiday or birthday. If they can’t even be bothered to send you a little happy birthday text, why should you every year? Your partner should always be wanting to keep you happy, or at least trying to show your love toward you. You should definitely do the same!!!!