/u/blackandwhitepaint on Advice needed on how to approach sex?

This is a little worrying. Sex should add joy to your life, not be a stressful problem to solve.

It's one thing to feel a little insecure when you show no interest in touch but he knows you're asexual, and yet he keeps having these unresolved conversations. Because he wants to wear you down. Which is working: you want to "get it over with". He doesn't seem to care how you feel about it.

You're old enough to know what you like and don't like. If you want to do it to get emotional fulfillment from making him happy, that's fine. But by no means should you feel like it's an obligation.

If you still want to do this, sit down and discuss what you are comfortable with, how far, how fast, what the signs are, etc. Remember that just because you're asexual it doesn't mean your discomfort doesn't matter. It should still be an enjoyable activity for you. If it's a chore, don't do it. Quit midway. It's okay. Also remember that PIV is a very small part of sex and there should be way more physical intimacy before and afterwards. Also, sex isn't just male orgasms. If you want to have an orgasm, instruct your bf how to help you with that, which is why it's important to explore with yourself and know your body first.

Your bf is an adult. He can understand that you care about him in your own way. If he acts like sex is the only way you can prove your love to him, you have a red flag in your hands.

June 01, 2019 at 12:02AM