I [22F] struggle to reach an orgasm from my boyfriend's [23M] videos

TL;DR Boyfriend and I share videos of ourselves masturbating on our little "spank-bank" but I struggle to reach an orgasm from just watching videos of him jerking off.

Hey!

Using a throwaway account here.

Okay so my boyfriend [23M] and I [22F] share videos of ourselves masturbating on our little "spank-bank" if you will, as an alternative to watching porn. However I struggle to reach an orgasm from just watching of him jerk off and play with himself in the videos, and I just want to know if this is normal / any advice?

We have been together for about 4 years and are very open about everything in our relationship, so I recently brought this up to him and he said that me not being able to cum from watching his videos makes him feel incredibly insecure and makes him feel like I'm not attracted to him. I have tried to reassure him that I am attracted to him but I believe he is still upset about it.

I am actually very attracted to him (physically & emotionally etc) but I just cannot reach an orgasm from his videos alone, sometimes I will look to porn or just play with myself without anything (no videos).

I find that I can orgasm very easily from lesbian porn over other genres (but everything generally works, you know how it be), do other women also experience this? I think it has something to do with the fact that they focus on the woman's pleasure rather than worshiping the guy and faking their orgasms.

When we have sex together I can typically reach an orgasm, but it does take me sometime. Occasionally, I will not be able to orgasm from sex together, but this is usually from other things like stress, distracted mind, not enough foreplay etc, not because of attraction issues.

I just wanted to get some outside thoughts/perspectives on the issue and if anyone else has experienced a similar thing?

Thanks heaps.

Edit: he also a link to this post so you can address the advice to him too.



Submitted May 31, 2019 at 10:21AM

TL;DR Boyfriend and I share videos of ourselves masturbating on our little "spank-bank" but I struggle to reach an orgasm from just watching videos of him jerking off.Hey!Using a throwaway account here.Okay so my boyfriend [23M] and I [22F] share videos of ourselves masturbating on our little "spank-bank" if you will, as an alternative to watching porn. However I struggle to reach an orgasm from just watching of him jerk off and play with himself in the videos, and I just want to know if this is normal / any advice?We have been together for about 4 years and are very open about everything in our relationship, so I recently brought this up to him and he said that me not being able to cum from watching his videos makes him feel incredibly insecure and makes him feel like I'm not attracted to him. I have tried to reassure him that I am attracted to him but I believe he is still upset about it.I am actually very attracted to him (physically & emotionally etc) but I just cannot reach an orgasm from his videos alone, sometimes I will look to porn or just play with myself without anything (no videos).I find that I can orgasm very easily from lesbian porn over other genres (but everything generally works, you know how it be), do other women also experience this? I think it has something to do with the fact that they focus on the woman's pleasure rather than worshiping the guy and faking their orgasms.When we have sex together I can typically reach an orgasm, but it does take me sometime. Occasionally, I will not be able to orgasm from sex together, but this is usually from other things like stress, distracted mind, not enough foreplay etc, not because of attraction issues.I just wanted to get some outside thoughts/perspectives on the issue and if anyone else has experienced a similar thing?Thanks heaps.Edit: he also a link to this post so you can address the advice to him too.
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