Best way to find balance in an optimist/pessimist situation?

I’ve [24F] gone on a handful of dates with this guy [27M] that I’m quite into. Things seem to be going well, but I’ve noticed over time that he’s a bit of a pessimist. I tend to attract them it seems as this isn’t new for me lol, but in regards to dating history he’s definitely the most negative.

For example, any time we talk about work or his music he’s extremely hard on himself. I’m not trying to play therapist here, but sometimes I’ll try to sneak in a few positive quips here and there, but for the most part I’ll just let him rattle off and provide support physically instead (hand holding, rubbing his back, etc).

I’m an optimist at heart and others’ pessimism doesn’t bring me down because I’m solid enough in my own self to be able to filter it out, so that’s not the issue, I’m more just trying to find a healthy balance since we are quite different when it comes to outlook.

Does this happen to anyone else? What’s the best way to be able to find balance here? He’s genuinely a good guy and I’d like to keep seeing him, but I’m also not trying to smother him in my kindness lol.



Submitted September 25, 2022 at 12:07AM

I’ve [24F] gone on a handful of dates with this guy [27M] that I’m quite into. Things seem to be going well, but I’ve noticed over time that he’s a bit of a pessimist. I tend to attract them it seems as this isn’t new for me lol, but in regards to dating history he’s definitely the most negative.For example, any time we talk about work or his music he’s extremely hard on himself. I’m not trying to play therapist here, but sometimes I’ll try to sneak in a few positive quips here and there, but for the most part I’ll just let him rattle off and provide support physically instead (hand holding, rubbing his back, etc).I’m an optimist at heart and others’ pessimism doesn’t bring me down because I’m solid enough in my own self to be able to filter it out, so that’s not the issue, I’m more just trying to find a healthy balance since we are quite different when it comes to outlook.Does this happen to anyone else? What’s the best way to be able to find balance here? He’s genuinely a good guy and I’d like to keep seeing him, but I’m also not trying to smother him in my kindness lol.
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