How to tell friend [20M] that likes me that I’m [20F] with our mutual friend [20M]

Essentially the title, but more details here. I’ll name the friend that likes me Michael & the person I’m with Jack for clarity, though names are obviously fake.

I’ve been friends with Jack for 4 years. We weren’t that close but would meet up / play games throughout the years. Last year, he introduced me to Michael and we became close friends in the last few months. Michael is one of the kindest people I know, he’s helped me through a lot. It became really obvious the last few months that he likes me (says he misses me, calls me cute, etc.) though he hasn’t said anything.

Jack & I recently found out we’re more compatible than we thought and are currently discussing the potential of dating. Main thing holding us back is distance. Jack & Michael go to the same uni, which is how they met, and they’re decent friends.

My question is - how do I tell Michael I’m with Jack, if we decide to date? I think Michael would be crushed - he’s told me it takes a long time for him to get over people, and has said before that he would be sad if I dated somebody else. He’s genuinely one of the kindest people I know. What’s the best approach? What can I say? Should I offhandedly mention that Jack and I are together, given that Michael hasn’t said anything? Or should I address his feelings when I tell him? Pretty sure no matter what, our friendship has to take a break.

As a side note, I’m worried about Michael comparing himself to Jack later on too. Any way to mitigate this?

Thank you

Submitted May 27, 2022 at 12:07AM

Essentially the title, but more details here. I’ll name the friend that likes me Michael & the person I’m with Jack for clarity, though names are obviously fake.I’ve been friends with Jack for 4 years. We weren’t that close but would meet up / play games throughout the years. Last year, he introduced me to Michael and we became close friends in the last few months. Michael is one of the kindest people I know, he’s helped me through a lot. It became really obvious the last few months that he likes me (says he misses me, calls me cute, etc.) though he hasn’t said anything.Jack & I recently found out we’re more compatible than we thought and are currently discussing the potential of dating. Main thing holding us back is distance. Jack & Michael go to the same uni, which is how they met, and they’re decent friends.My question is - how do I tell Michael I’m with Jack, if we decide to date? I think Michael would be crushed - he’s told me it takes a long time for him to get over people, and has said before that he would be sad if I dated somebody else. He’s genuinely one of the kindest people I know. What’s the best approach? What can I say? Should I offhandedly mention that Jack and I are together, given that Michael hasn’t said anything? Or should I address his feelings when I tell him? Pretty sure no matter what, our friendship has to take a break.As a side note, I’m worried about Michael comparing himself to Jack later on too. Any way to mitigate this?Thank you