Help! Am I the a**hole for wanting to move?

I LOVE my career and it is something that has always been one of my utmost priorities. When I met my BF a year and a half ago, he knew this and was very supportive. However, my career is not a common one so if I want to stay in it and want/need to change jobs for whatever reason, I typically have to travel 200+ miles before I find another. I have done this before a couple of times, and love moving and that entire process. I have explicitly expressed this to him in the past and he said that he would be interested in going with me.

Anyways, fast forward and we have an amazing relationship and there's nothing I would change about it. But the tides are changing with my job and I am starting to look for another. I have several interviews set up for jobs in my field ranging across the states. He knew I would be looking for a different job soon, but I'm a pretty private person, so I waited to tell him until I had some interviews lined up. When I talked to him, he was very disappointed about the prospect and we got into an argument about it. I have no ties to the area we currently live in and he is working remotely so the only ties he has are his friends. Am I the ass hole for wanting him to come along with me? I feel very torn between a career that I love and the man that I love. But in complete honesty, my career has always been a waayyy higher priority to me than a relationship or getting married but I do love my BF and see a future with him. How do I navigate this?



Submitted May 18, 2022 at 01:14AM

I LOVE my career and it is something that has always been one of my utmost priorities. When I met my BF a year and a half ago, he knew this and was very supportive. However, my career is not a common one so if I want to stay in it and want/need to change jobs for whatever reason, I typically have to travel 200+ miles before I find another. I have done this before a couple of times, and love moving and that entire process. I have explicitly expressed this to him in the past and he said that he would be interested in going with me.Anyways, fast forward and we have an amazing relationship and there's nothing I would change about it. But the tides are changing with my job and I am starting to look for another. I have several interviews set up for jobs in my field ranging across the states. He knew I would be looking for a different job soon, but I'm a pretty private person, so I waited to tell him until I had some interviews lined up. When I talked to him, he was very disappointed about the prospect and we got into an argument about it. I have no ties to the area we currently live in and he is working remotely so the only ties he has are his friends. Am I the ass hole for wanting him to come along with me? I feel very torn between a career that I love and the man that I love. But in complete honesty, my career has always been a waayyy higher priority to me than a relationship or getting married but I do love my BF and see a future with him. How do I navigate this?
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