Girlfriends is afraid she never knows when I will be angry

So my(21m) girlfriend (21f) are very different. I am a very anxious person and like things to be planned out ahead of time while my girlfriend is more go with the flow. I show up to class 10 minutes early incase something happens to make me late, meanwhile she walks in 3 minutes late. We're just different, and we both acknowledge that.

We've had a few issues in the past, but have never had full on arguments. We are both really good at talking about our issues and resolving them without escalating things. Because the stuff that makes me upset, is so normal to my girlfriend, she explained that she feels like she never realized that what she was doing upsets me and is now afraid that I am going to be upset with her.

for example, in the past, we had plans to meet on campus to do some studying. We agreed on 4:00. At 4:00, she wasn't there so I decided to walk to her house and we could just walk over together. I walked to her house and waited outside for another 15 minutes til about 4:25 while also texting that I was outside with no response. I told her that this upset me that we agreed on a time and she was 30 minutes late to even leave. She explained that she thought it was fine that I could just start studying and when she got there we could study together. I explained that it would've been fine if she maybe said that would be the case.

Another example: we wanted to hang one night. She said she had a meeting til 8 and would come over if it didn't end too late. it got to about 9:30 so I decided to text and see if we were still hanging out after canceling my other plans. She responded 30minutes later saying she had just gotten back to her house 45 minutes ago and thought it went too late to hang out. Again, I explained that this hurt that I canceled planned and waited on her and that some communication would've helped. it was also annoying that she was home for 45 minutes before texting about our plans.

One of my biggest issues surrounds her communication. She is a terrible texter which really bugs me. She takes anywhere from 10min to 4 hours to respond. I understand that she is busy and I really don't care when its basic stuff like talking about our day, but when I am trying to make plans talk about important things, it really bugs me.

I know that she doesn't ignore me on purpose, when we are together, she never goes on her phone. I see her notifications and shell have texts from a bunch of different people that shell ignore because she's with me. I really appreciate this when were together, and I try to realize that this is what she is doing when were apart but it still bugs me.

Why Im writing this is because we are currently trying to plan a trip, her lack of communication today has put our trip planning off by a handful of days because of various reasons. We had a long conversation only a few weeks ago about her lack of communication but also how she is afraid that she doesn't know when ill be upset with her next. is this issue worth bringing up again, or do I need to loosen up and stop worrying about her communication more.

Submitted May 18, 2022 at 12:10AM

So my(21m) girlfriend (21f) are very different. I am a very anxious person and like things to be planned out ahead of time while my girlfriend is more go with the flow. I show up to class 10 minutes early incase something happens to make me late, meanwhile she walks in 3 minutes late. We're just different, and we both acknowledge that.We've had a few issues in the past, but have never had full on arguments. We are both really good at talking about our issues and resolving them without escalating things. Because the stuff that makes me upset, is so normal to my girlfriend, she explained that she feels like she never realized that what she was doing upsets me and is now afraid that I am going to be upset with her.for example, in the past, we had plans to meet on campus to do some studying. We agreed on 4:00. At 4:00, she wasn't there so I decided to walk to her house and we could just walk over together. I walked to her house and waited outside for another 15 minutes til about 4:25 while also texting that I was outside with no response. I told her that this upset me that we agreed on a time and she was 30 minutes late to even leave. She explained that she thought it was fine that I could just start studying and when she got there we could study together. I explained that it would've been fine if she maybe said that would be the case.Another example: we wanted to hang one night. She said she had a meeting til 8 and would come over if it didn't end too late. it got to about 9:30 so I decided to text and see if we were still hanging out after canceling my other plans. She responded 30minutes later saying she had just gotten back to her house 45 minutes ago and thought it went too late to hang out. Again, I explained that this hurt that I canceled planned and waited on her and that some communication would've helped. it was also annoying that she was home for 45 minutes before texting about our plans.One of my biggest issues surrounds her communication. She is a terrible texter which really bugs me. She takes anywhere from 10min to 4 hours to respond. I understand that she is busy and I really don't care when its basic stuff like talking about our day, but when I am trying to make plans talk about important things, it really bugs me.I know that she doesn't ignore me on purpose, when we are together, she never goes on her phone. I see her notifications and shell have texts from a bunch of different people that shell ignore because she's with me. I really appreciate this when were together, and I try to realize that this is what she is doing when were apart but it still bugs me.Why Im writing this is because we are currently trying to plan a trip, her lack of communication today has put our trip planning off by a handful of days because of various reasons. We had a long conversation only a few weeks ago about her lack of communication but also how she is afraid that she doesn't know when ill be upset with her next. is this issue worth bringing up again, or do I need to loosen up and stop worrying about her communication more.