Unprovoked back/shoulder massage and mixed feelings

I (19F) just had the most awkward time tonight at my ‘guy friends’ (19M) house. He’s usually a really nice and shy guy and I consider myself very passive, not one to speak out and on the shy side myself. We started talking about a month ago and hung out a few times before today as well, he actually even asked me to be his girlfriend today. I initially said yes (impulse, I didn’t mean it idk why I said it) but then I thought about it and said that we should slow down and get to know each other more. It’s only be a month, like I mentioned earlier. Anyways, today we were just hanging out and he was acting a little weird, scooting closer to me, moving around where ever I moved, etc…I guess he was trying to make a move but didn’t know how, which I didn’t realize until now. Then all of sudden he put his arm around me which I didn’t mind, then he started to rub my arm, which I also didn’t mind. But then he just randomly started to rub my shoulders lightly and then when I didn’t say anything, he started giving me a full on massage, just barely grazing my chest. I felt really weird but I didn’t say anything, I honestly couldn’t. I legit just froze cause this is my first time dating (anyone) and I didn’t know what the right reaction was. So I just sat there quietly and waited for him to stop but then he continued for a really long time to the point where I lost track. He even moved behind me and continued to rub me all over my shoulders, arms, and back just barely avoiding my private areas, and breathing on my neck. I’m not sure what kind of reaction he wanted or expected from me but I honestly felt very weird and even a little scared, to the point where I felt like crying. Ik I should’ve just spoke up and told him to stop but for some reason I felt really intimidated. It was obvious that he was getting turned on from it too which made things even more awkward for me. He’s nice, his family is nice to me and everything but idk…it was just a very weird experience that I don’t think I ever want to go through again. I do kind of feel like I’m overreacting and just really stupid for just not telling him to stop even though I was uncomfortable.

TLDR: Shy (19F) new to dating, talking to this guy (19M) for a month who began to massage my neck, back, and shoulders just barely grazing my private areas without my permission for over an hour and made me feel a little scared and uncomfortable.



Submitted March 22, 2022 at 01:10AM

I (19F) just had the most awkward time tonight at my ‘guy friends’ (19M) house. He’s usually a really nice and shy guy and I consider myself very passive, not one to speak out and on the shy side myself. We started talking about a month ago and hung out a few times before today as well, he actually even asked me to be his girlfriend today. I initially said yes (impulse, I didn’t mean it idk why I said it) but then I thought about it and said that we should slow down and get to know each other more. It’s only be a month, like I mentioned earlier. Anyways, today we were just hanging out and he was acting a little weird, scooting closer to me, moving around where ever I moved, etc…I guess he was trying to make a move but didn’t know how, which I didn’t realize until now. Then all of sudden he put his arm around me which I didn’t mind, then he started to rub my arm, which I also didn’t mind. But then he just randomly started to rub my shoulders lightly and then when I didn’t say anything, he started giving me a full on massage, just barely grazing my chest. I felt really weird but I didn’t say anything, I honestly couldn’t. I legit just froze cause this is my first time dating (anyone) and I didn’t know what the right reaction was. So I just sat there quietly and waited for him to stop but then he continued for a really long time to the point where I lost track. He even moved behind me and continued to rub me all over my shoulders, arms, and back just barely avoiding my private areas, and breathing on my neck. I’m not sure what kind of reaction he wanted or expected from me but I honestly felt very weird and even a little scared, to the point where I felt like crying. Ik I should’ve just spoke up and told him to stop but for some reason I felt really intimidated. It was obvious that he was getting turned on from it too which made things even more awkward for me. He’s nice, his family is nice to me and everything but idk…it was just a very weird experience that I don’t think I ever want to go through again. I do kind of feel like I’m overreacting and just really stupid for just not telling him to stop even though I was uncomfortable.TLDR: Shy (19F) new to dating, talking to this guy (19M) for a month who began to massage my neck, back, and shoulders just barely grazing my private areas without my permission for over an hour and made me feel a little scared and uncomfortable.
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