Seeking advice regarding depression and cheating

Hi y’all, first time here, so sorry if I’m missing any format in this post. I’m (24) currently living in the US, and she (26) lives in Korea (South of course :) ) I met her while visiting my parents 3 years ago, and we have seen each other ever since, often during my academic breaks(I’m an undergraduate student), mostly me coming to Korea. In times we don’t see each other, we text, call, and facetime regularly.

Fast forward to about couple months ago, when my depression was at peak due to other reasons(boundary-nonrespecting parents forcing my career pathway, resulting in taking a semester off until this Fall), she told me that she felt burnt out since I kept relying on her for my depression. I realized that, and did my best to start working out, drinking lots of water, you know, the basics of keeping a stable mind. Our relationship improved as a result, and she began to noticably laugh more in our conversations.

Fast forward to about a month ago, she reveals that she had sex once with a guy she plays online games with during the times she had troubles when I relied on her. A couple of days later, she also had the nerves to ask if she could go on what seems like a double date, with the same dude she had sex going. She apoligizes and I do understand that she let me know the truth to look past it and mend our relationship, but I’m just heartbroken so much that she no longer makes me happy.

She suggests that I come to Korea(she can’t come here due to strict parents and being a daughter) over spring and we could try making our relationship better.

With depression also on my other shoulder, I also want to have a sense of purpose to distract myself while I take my semester off, so I applied for a part time job recently. Should I go to Korea, try to mend the relationship, and cancelling my job application? Or should I move on?



Submitted February 02, 2022 at 12:12AM

Hi y’all, first time here, so sorry if I’m missing any format in this post. I’m (24) currently living in the US, and she (26) lives in Korea (South of course :) ) I met her while visiting my parents 3 years ago, and we have seen each other ever since, often during my academic breaks(I’m an undergraduate student), mostly me coming to Korea. In times we don’t see each other, we text, call, and facetime regularly.Fast forward to about couple months ago, when my depression was at peak due to other reasons(boundary-nonrespecting parents forcing my career pathway, resulting in taking a semester off until this Fall), she told me that she felt burnt out since I kept relying on her for my depression. I realized that, and did my best to start working out, drinking lots of water, you know, the basics of keeping a stable mind. Our relationship improved as a result, and she began to noticably laugh more in our conversations.Fast forward to about a month ago, she reveals that she had sex once with a guy she plays online games with during the times she had troubles when I relied on her. A couple of days later, she also had the nerves to ask if she could go on what seems like a double date, with the same dude she had sex going. She apoligizes and I do understand that she let me know the truth to look past it and mend our relationship, but I’m just heartbroken so much that she no longer makes me happy.She suggests that I come to Korea(she can’t come here due to strict parents and being a daughter) over spring and we could try making our relationship better.With depression also on my other shoulder, I also want to have a sense of purpose to distract myself while I take my semester off, so I applied for a part time job recently. Should I go to Korea, try to mend the relationship, and cancelling my job application? Or should I move on?
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