Super nervous about online dating

Hi all! Not sure if this is the right place to discuss this, but I could do with some advise.

I'm a 30 yo male. I have very little(no?) experience in casual dating. All my relationships were serious and started from friendship. I'm single for almost a year now (longest in my adult life), and struggling to get into the dating game.

I consider myself to be decent, not great looking. Definitely not a standout. But I think I am interesting, funny, have plenty of hobbies, do well in career and life, and am very caring. The problem is, I'm very shy/introverted to begin with, or until a conversation starts naturally.

I'm not looking for a hookup, but dating to see if there's a good match. I match rarely with some girls I really like, but I'm too nervous to start the conversation. If I say something generic, I know it's going to end the chat real quick. I'm not a person who uses cheesy pick up lines, so I don't want to pretend to be that. I like real or fun conversations where it's engaging or I get to know the person.

Is online dating not for me? Has anyone else overcome introversion on these apps? I know a lot of girls like guys starting the conversation, but it's hard for some people.

I feel quite sad that I ruin all the good matches I have, by not having something flirty/intriguing to say off the bat. If they met in person I know it would be different..



Submitted November 25, 2021 at 06:11PM

Hi all! Not sure if this is the right place to discuss this, but I could do with some advise.I'm a 30 yo male. I have very little(no?) experience in casual dating. All my relationships were serious and started from friendship. I'm single for almost a year now (longest in my adult life), and struggling to get into the dating game.I consider myself to be decent, not great looking. Definitely not a standout. But I think I am interesting, funny, have plenty of hobbies, do well in career and life, and am very caring. The problem is, I'm very shy/introverted to begin with, or until a conversation starts naturally.I'm not looking for a hookup, but dating to see if there's a good match. I match rarely with some girls I really like, but I'm too nervous to start the conversation. If I say something generic, I know it's going to end the chat real quick. I'm not a person who uses cheesy pick up lines, so I don't want to pretend to be that. I like real or fun conversations where it's engaging or I get to know the person.Is online dating not for me? Has anyone else overcome introversion on these apps? I know a lot of girls like guys starting the conversation, but it's hard for some people.I feel quite sad that I ruin all the good matches I have, by not having something flirty/intriguing to say off the bat. If they met in person I know it would be different..
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