Mixed signals. What the hell does he want when it comes to his ideal sex? Outsiders please help.

My boyfriend (of 10 years) when happy will claim he loves our sex which is predominantly giving each other head, missionary, end in doggy style. Again, for 10 years. I really love our sex and I don’t doubt that he does, too. However, every once in awhile, we get into a huge blow out and will call each other boring in bed. I think he really means it though & I’m almost sure that I mean it, too. I’ve constantly, consistently, & frequently asked what he’d like to do different in the bedroom when we’re being friendly and openly communicating and it’s always the same, "I like what we do.” Why call me a boring lay when you’re pissed then? I do feel feel he gets a bit embarrassed at these open discussions & I certainly get the feeling that we’re both sub because I kind of do, too, albeit not as much as him it would seem. Historically before him I’ve always been with more dom partners so this has been really sticky for me. Does he mean what he says when we’re frustrated with each other or when I’m trying to get him to open up? And MOST IMPORTANTLY how do I get him to open up?? I’m at a loss. Any advice from anyone who has insight or experience with this would be GREATLY welcomed. Thank you.

Submitted November 24, 2021 at 12:40AM

My boyfriend (of 10 years) when happy will claim he loves our sex which is predominantly giving each other head, missionary, end in doggy style. Again, for 10 years. I really love our sex and I don’t doubt that he does, too. However, every once in awhile, we get into a huge blow out and will call each other boring in bed. I think he really means it though & I’m almost sure that I mean it, too. I’ve constantly, consistently, & frequently asked what he’d like to do different in the bedroom when we’re being friendly and openly communicating and it’s always the same, "I like what we do.” Why call me a boring lay when you’re pissed then? I do feel feel he gets a bit embarrassed at these open discussions & I certainly get the feeling that we’re both sub because I kind of do, too, albeit not as much as him it would seem. Historically before him I’ve always been with more dom partners so this has been really sticky for me. Does he mean what he says when we’re frustrated with each other or when I’m trying to get him to open up? And MOST IMPORTANTLY how do I get him to open up?? I’m at a loss. Any advice from anyone who has insight or experience with this would be GREATLY welcomed. Thank you.