I (21M) am struggling. Need help & advice

I'm happy with my life I'm just sick of being lonely. I have a dream job as my first job, I stay healthy, but I've never dated before, I tried Tinder when I started uni 2 years ago and didn't get a single conversation from it.

The only recent girl I've texted says she doesn't want a relationship and doesn't want to end up hating herself and me for being Friends with benefits? (It's most likely a trust issues thing). But it's frustrating to hear cause she's says I'm a cool person even though we hardly know each other.

I would give up on wanting a relationship or fwb, if it weren't for my active imagination at night wishing I had some company with me. I don't know many party throwers and clubbing isn't really an option at the moment.

With my lack of dating experience I don't know if people find me attractive or not. I don't care of the opinion, I think I look good. Would just like to know my odds. On top of this, hearing women won't be bothered by a guy she's attracted to dming her but will be annoyed otherwise sets an uncertainty in me + my shyness stops me from "shooting my shot".

Even if I were to crack and message a girl I don't know what to talk about in the first place and it just seems too random to ask em out to grab a drink.

My friend suggests I get on dating apps again with up to date photos but I don't like the idea of staging photos for the sake of attracting someone + apps are way harder for men in general and I don't find myself particular interesting.

On top of that my roommate gets around cause he knows a lot of people and has a fwb but I feel sleazy and pathetic to even ask him if he could introduce me to anyone.

How the frick do I go about starting in the dating world? This is the only thing in life I'm pathetically bad and indecsive at. Any advice is appreciated



Submitted October 26, 2021 at 12:12AM

I'm happy with my life I'm just sick of being lonely. I have a dream job as my first job, I stay healthy, but I've never dated before, I tried Tinder when I started uni 2 years ago and didn't get a single conversation from it.The only recent girl I've texted says she doesn't want a relationship and doesn't want to end up hating herself and me for being Friends with benefits? (It's most likely a trust issues thing). But it's frustrating to hear cause she's says I'm a cool person even though we hardly know each other.I would give up on wanting a relationship or fwb, if it weren't for my active imagination at night wishing I had some company with me. I don't know many party throwers and clubbing isn't really an option at the moment.With my lack of dating experience I don't know if people find me attractive or not. I don't care of the opinion, I think I look good. Would just like to know my odds. On top of this, hearing women won't be bothered by a guy she's attracted to dming her but will be annoyed otherwise sets an uncertainty in me + my shyness stops me from "shooting my shot".Even if I were to crack and message a girl I don't know what to talk about in the first place and it just seems too random to ask em out to grab a drink.My friend suggests I get on dating apps again with up to date photos but I don't like the idea of staging photos for the sake of attracting someone + apps are way harder for men in general and I don't find myself particular interesting.On top of that my roommate gets around cause he knows a lot of people and has a fwb but I feel sleazy and pathetic to even ask him if he could introduce me to anyone.How the frick do I go about starting in the dating world? This is the only thing in life I'm pathetically bad and indecsive at. Any advice is appreciated
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