How can I feel comfortable having an orgasm when my O face is hideous?

First off, I've slept with a decent amount of people about 70. Many of these partners I had sex with dozens of times. However I've only let myself have an orgasm with someone else 1 time (they were giving me head and the lights were off and I hid my face underneath a pillow). I've edged myself to the verge of sobbing with partners multiple times because I won't let myself relax enough to get off. And why? Because I am extremely scared of someone witnessing my face when I orgasm. It looks like I'm screaming in pain. And I feel hideous. I've tried to train myself when I'm alone to do anything but what my face naturally wants to do but nope. I don't think I'll ever be confident enough to have someone look at me when it happens. I wish it was acceptable to hide my face under the blankets when I cum. I don't know how to fix this issue and I really want to let myself orgasm with my partners.

Tldr I look ugly when I orgasm so I don't orgasm. What do I do?



Submitted October 16, 2021 at 12:45AM

First off, I've slept with a decent amount of people about 70. Many of these partners I had sex with dozens of times. However I've only let myself have an orgasm with someone else 1 time (they were giving me head and the lights were off and I hid my face underneath a pillow). I've edged myself to the verge of sobbing with partners multiple times because I won't let myself relax enough to get off. And why? Because I am extremely scared of someone witnessing my face when I orgasm. It looks like I'm screaming in pain. And I feel hideous. I've tried to train myself when I'm alone to do anything but what my face naturally wants to do but nope. I don't think I'll ever be confident enough to have someone look at me when it happens. I wish it was acceptable to hide my face under the blankets when I cum. I don't know how to fix this issue and I really want to let myself orgasm with my partners.Tldr I look ugly when I orgasm so I don't orgasm. What do I do?
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