28m v 32f (please give me advice)

I am a Marine Veteran who has been through the ringer one too many times. She is the party girl who could careless about regrets and living life to her fullest. Her and I havent ever dated before. But, we have a serious spiritual connection. Through the subliminal messages and obvious signs that flirting is apparent.

I am a stay at home Vet who is on disability. I am a writer in my free time whenever i am not contracting. I make frequent trips down to LA as much as I can on the weekend, living out of the Mojave desert. Committed to all areas of my life. Job, kids (living with both my exes, 1v1), twice divorced (8 years if marriage experience).

She has been making music for over 12 years now. She lives in LA county. Now that I am typing about her...i really dont know that much about her do I? Other then the fact that she is living in the fast lane, dropped out of college and is living her best life.

Both of us have been through trauma in our pasts. Trying to repaint the same picture all over again while explaining this is getting out hand. I really wish you guys knew every finite detail. But, I guess cutting to the chase is this...

I try to reach out to her for over the last two years now after we initially started talking, ended through texts late 2019. I guess all the direct communication stopped is when I told her how I felt about her...but ever since then weird coincidences and signs have been happening through all aspects of my life.

I am a practicing witch for the last three years and trying to tap into spiritual readings in order to recieve messages from the spirits. Whether if that is through tarot card readings or meditation. No matter what I do or say. Spirits tell me now is not the time for love. But, healing and growth. However before then, spirits would always tell me we are indeed twin flame, past life lovers.

Now, if that is true...how come does she stay in the shadows and in silence. Barely, even speaking. Indirect, subliminal messages through songs or music. Allowing the music to speak for her...and it hurts. Only because we never really hold a real conversation, face to face. But, whenever we do meet face to face in person. I see her staring at me, With those flirting eyes.

Specific songs I truely feel like she has written for me...and I know what you sre about to say or call me names for thinking all this. Either I am a psychopath, narcissistic, or deluded to be thinking all this especially if I havent heard through a normal conversation that she feels for me the way that i feel for her. Its absurd, I know. But, to her music is life. Therefore, I feel like the way she reaches out to me is through her passion.

Its weird because she makes music for a living but wont even say a couple sentences to me unless I buy her time, in order to talk to her. At times I feel hopeful, and other times I feel like I am being used for profits.

I really wish you guys where there with me. The day to day occurrences. Visions, physic readings and tarot have never missed the target. Always on point and always 100% accurate. But, there is something that is keeping us seperated. I dont know what that thing is.

Songs about love, connection, unity and passionate romances. Songs about being vulnerable, laying her walls down. I resonate and connect with every word.

I am a very responsible and respected individual. I dont have a bad bone in my body. Yet, something is not there or missing like...physical presence or the timing is never right???

I ask spirits to help me get a period in time where Her and I are face to face. Where i am able to say what I said 100 times before...but I feel like when the time does come. I am going to be speechless.

I have written daily posts on my reddit page since 2018 I believe to this day about the kind of love that I have for her...and to believe that she doesnt know how I feel is beyond me. All I wish for is a simple yes or no...then we both can move forward with our lives...

I don't get why the constant dodging of physical interaction?

Can anyone help me?

Submitted October 16, 2021 at 12:09AM

I am a Marine Veteran who has been through the ringer one too many times. She is the party girl who could careless about regrets and living life to her fullest. Her and I havent ever dated before. But, we have a serious spiritual connection. Through the subliminal messages and obvious signs that flirting is apparent.I am a stay at home Vet who is on disability. I am a writer in my free time whenever i am not contracting. I make frequent trips down to LA as much as I can on the weekend, living out of the Mojave desert. Committed to all areas of my life. Job, kids (living with both my exes, 1v1), twice divorced (8 years if marriage experience).She has been making music for over 12 years now. She lives in LA county. Now that I am typing about her...i really dont know that much about her do I? Other then the fact that she is living in the fast lane, dropped out of college and is living her best life.Both of us have been through trauma in our pasts. Trying to repaint the same picture all over again while explaining this is getting out hand. I really wish you guys knew every finite detail. But, I guess cutting to the chase is this...I try to reach out to her for over the last two years now after we initially started talking, ended through texts late 2019. I guess all the direct communication stopped is when I told her how I felt about her...but ever since then weird coincidences and signs have been happening through all aspects of my life.I am a practicing witch for the last three years and trying to tap into spiritual readings in order to recieve messages from the spirits. Whether if that is through tarot card readings or meditation. No matter what I do or say. Spirits tell me now is not the time for love. But, healing and growth. However before then, spirits would always tell me we are indeed twin flame, past life lovers.Now, if that is true...how come does she stay in the shadows and in silence. Barely, even speaking. Indirect, subliminal messages through songs or music. Allowing the music to speak for her...and it hurts. Only because we never really hold a real conversation, face to face. But, whenever we do meet face to face in person. I see her staring at me, With those flirting eyes.Specific songs I truely feel like she has written for me...and I know what you sre about to say or call me names for thinking all this. Either I am a psychopath, narcissistic, or deluded to be thinking all this especially if I havent heard through a normal conversation that she feels for me the way that i feel for her. Its absurd, I know. But, to her music is life. Therefore, I feel like the way she reaches out to me is through her passion.Its weird because she makes music for a living but wont even say a couple sentences to me unless I buy her time, in order to talk to her. At times I feel hopeful, and other times I feel like I am being used for profits.I really wish you guys where there with me. The day to day occurrences. Visions, physic readings and tarot have never missed the target. Always on point and always 100% accurate. But, there is something that is keeping us seperated. I dont know what that thing is.Songs about love, connection, unity and passionate romances. Songs about being vulnerable, laying her walls down. I resonate and connect with every word.I am a very responsible and respected individual. I dont have a bad bone in my body. Yet, something is not there or missing like...physical presence or the timing is never right???I ask spirits to help me get a period in time where Her and I are face to face. Where i am able to say what I said 100 times before...but I feel like when the time does come. I am going to be speechless.I have written daily posts on my reddit page since 2018 I believe to this day about the kind of love that I have for her...and to believe that she doesnt know how I feel is beyond me. All I wish for is a simple yes or no...then we both can move forward with our lives...I don't get why the constant dodging of physical interaction?Can anyone help me?