/u/beanwithintentions on I love my BF, but I think he’s too horny all the time to understand Asexuals :(

as someone who was in a relationship with a hypersexual allo, i can speak from experience.

so when i told him im ace, he said it was fine and that it didnt change anything. in fact, he said the relationship would be better that way. he also said (in a completely inoffensive way) i might “grow out of it”, but if i wouldnt it would be fine. i told him i dont know if i will but i kinda hope i do. i think i also told him something about how at my age (16) i would know whether or not i would grow out of it because during the teen years people tend to be at their highest points of their sex drives. he could have just been talking about how my anxiety disorders greatly impact relationships and that ive said that my ocd could contribute to me being ace (im a germophobe with severe ocd). so if thats what he was talking about its a completely different situation. anyway, my point is, if he was talking purely about asexuality and not the fact that the ocd may cause it, then that was just like this. allos just dont understand.

let me put it this way. yknow how a lot of us dont understand sexual attraction/sexual desires until they are thoroughly explained to us? now flip it. most allos cant comprehend the thought of love without sexual attraction, the same way a lot of us cant comprehend the thought of love with sexual attraction. personally, if i were you, i would just let the relationship play out however it plays out. i think if sexual activity was that important to him then he probably wouldnt be with you. it seems like he loves you, but maybe just doesnt quite fully understand asexuality yet.

sorry if any of this is worded weirdly, im tired and very distracted lmao





June 25, 2021 at 11:47PM
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Add Comments, Posts, Links... etc.

Popular posts from this blog

The difference between being right and being understood

My boyfriend and I are 28. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years and recently moved in together. He’s a pretty patient and easygoing person (Type B) whereas I’m more particular (Type A). Of course there are two sides to every trait, and my Type A nature benefits us in some ways too. Like all couples, we have differences in perspective or preference. When this happens, he will usually say something like “I disagree (with your perspective) but fine.” I tend to push the issue in an attempt to get him to understand where I’m coming from. This escalates the disagreement into a fight because he perceives it as me trying to be “right”. I truly just want to be understood (and I want to understand where he’s coming from) so I’m looking for more of a dialogue whereas he avoids conflict and just wants it to be over as quickly as possible. His general approach is “agree to disagree” but that doesn’t make sense to me when it’s an issue that will keep coming up and requires compromise. I’m n
Read more

My (27f) gf (27f) is getting tired of me not sharing intimate/ personal info about me

I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love with her, however I can not seem to open up... and I can tell it’s frustrating to her by the way she tells me it bothers her that she feels she’s the only one committed and the one that’s always sharing... At this point I don’t even know if it is that I’ve gotten too used to it, to the point I’ve became lazy to talk about myself or give any genuine personal opinion... it sucks, really, I need to communicate better... Where do I start? Tl;dr: I can’t be completely intimate with my gf and its frustrating her, I need to communicate better because I really love her... where to start? Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:02AM I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love
Read more

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) relationship is confusing to me. I might be the problem, or maybe we are just incompatible.

I met my girlfriend after a few serious breakups that led me to change both intentionally and unintentionally over a few years. For better and for worse. She had just gotten out of an engagement with a verbally and physically abusive man who had a cocaine problem. We have been together about 8 months now. We hit it off and spent a lot of time together but she began to push our relationship as if there were a time clock for milestones. I was pressed beyond my comfort zone and went with it because of my affection for her. My living situation fell apart and I lost a few thousand dollars to shit roommates right around the time she and I met and she offered to let me stay with her. I agreed with some resistance. I pay for food, help her with bills, and throw money toward rent while trying to get back on my feet. As long as we have been together she has gotten more possessive, angry, and irrational. She is dealing with shit from her engagement and I feel shes looking for a level of seriou
Read more