My (22F) Boyfriend (28M) is into voyeurism and degradation, and I am a bit conflicted since I am not exactly a fan of either.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a bit less than a year and have been not engaged in any sexual activities until very recently, which involves a lot of oral sex, fondling and a lot of phone sex since we live in different cities.

Lately, he's been more open about his fantasies and fetishes which I really appreciate. The thing is that lately he has shown a lot of interest in watching me have sex with someone else as well as he has asked me various times to degrade him while we masturbate together or are in a sex call.

He tells me about his fantasies and mentions me engaging sexually with more than one person, sometimes he includes himself in the fantasy,and he would asknme whether I would let anyone cum inside me, which he has stated sometimes that it is kind of hot to think about that.

The thing is that I don't mind indulging into his fantasies, some of them sound fun, but I would genuinely not let anyone other guy ejaculated inside me or engage sexually with me without a condom other than him, as well as I would not let them kiss me. It might be ridiculous sounding, since I would still be engaging with them in a sexual manner, hypothetically speaking since until now all we've done is talk about it, but I fele like those are the boundaries I would take towards people that are not my partner. In fact, I would not feel comfortable climaxing for someone else than him. Even just talking about it is not something that turns me on, I am genuinely in love with him and I would like to keep some part of our sexual intimacy monogamous.

I don't know how to bring up that I am not too into the whole adding a third or more party into our sexual life beyond our fantasies, and I dont know how to tell him that I really don't like degrading him, since I am generally a really nice person and I don't feel comfortable saying stuff to degrade someone even as a role play.

I want to be able to fulfill his desire but I also want to feel safe and strongly connected to him.

I guess there is also a part of me that feels kind of jealous at the thought of him engaging sexually with someone else, even though he's never mentioned anything like that. I genuinely don't mind experimenting but I feel like I would not have the same excitement at watching him with someone else than he would watching me, and that seems unfair to him i think.

I don't know how to bring all this up to him and I don't know how to find a good middle point. I am a very vanilla person to be honest and very emotional as well. Little things like someone ejaculating in me mean a lot while for him it's no more than just part of the sexual encounter.

I just wanna be able to talk it out and find a middle point or at least be able to feel a bit more comfortable with it.

Advice would be very welcomed.

Submitted June 24, 2021 at 12:13AM

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a bit less than a year and have been not engaged in any sexual activities until very recently, which involves a lot of oral sex, fondling and a lot of phone sex since we live in different cities.Lately, he's been more open about his fantasies and fetishes which I really appreciate. The thing is that lately he has shown a lot of interest in watching me have sex with someone else as well as he has asked me various times to degrade him while we masturbate together or are in a sex call.He tells me about his fantasies and mentions me engaging sexually with more than one person, sometimes he includes himself in the fantasy,and he would asknme whether I would let anyone cum inside me, which he has stated sometimes that it is kind of hot to think about that.The thing is that I don't mind indulging into his fantasies, some of them sound fun, but I would genuinely not let anyone other guy ejaculated inside me or engage sexually with me without a condom other than him, as well as I would not let them kiss me. It might be ridiculous sounding, since I would still be engaging with them in a sexual manner, hypothetically speaking since until now all we've done is talk about it, but I fele like those are the boundaries I would take towards people that are not my partner. In fact, I would not feel comfortable climaxing for someone else than him. Even just talking about it is not something that turns me on, I am genuinely in love with him and I would like to keep some part of our sexual intimacy monogamous.I don't know how to bring up that I am not too into the whole adding a third or more party into our sexual life beyond our fantasies, and I dont know how to tell him that I really don't like degrading him, since I am generally a really nice person and I don't feel comfortable saying stuff to degrade someone even as a role play.I want to be able to fulfill his desire but I also want to feel safe and strongly connected to him.I guess there is also a part of me that feels kind of jealous at the thought of him engaging sexually with someone else, even though he's never mentioned anything like that. I genuinely don't mind experimenting but I feel like I would not have the same excitement at watching him with someone else than he would watching me, and that seems unfair to him i think.I don't know how to bring all this up to him and I don't know how to find a good middle point. I am a very vanilla person to be honest and very emotional as well. Little things like someone ejaculating in me mean a lot while for him it's no more than just part of the sexual encounter.I just wanna be able to talk it out and find a middle point or at least be able to feel a bit more comfortable with it.Advice would be very welcomed.