how do I speak up about my wants?

I lost my virginity to my boyfriend 2 months ago. He made it super special, with rose petals on bed and everything . But the sex itself was horrible. It was very painful and I turned away trying not to cry. He didn’t do it gently or make sure I was comfortable, he “just went for it “ (his exact words).

one thing that bothers me is he told me that he’s always been selfish in bed and he’s not educated about how to please women. Sex has been painful for a long time, we had to start foreplay. now we have amazing sex! Also he does make sure I come after we do it, but he complains it takes half an hour so he gives up and tells me to finish. He also scrolls thru instagram while doing it???

how do I voice my needs and wants in a way that doesn’t blame? Lots of times I’ve mentioned things I want, and he tries but not hard enough. I give him hjs and bjs so he always get pleasure. should I stop being so giving ?? I don’t want to be selfish either



Submitted June 23, 2021 at 11:58PM

I lost my virginity to my boyfriend 2 months ago. He made it super special, with rose petals on bed and everything . But the sex itself was horrible. It was very painful and I turned away trying not to cry. He didn’t do it gently or make sure I was comfortable, he “just went for it “ (his exact words).one thing that bothers me is he told me that he’s always been selfish in bed and he’s not educated about how to please women. Sex has been painful for a long time, we had to start foreplay. now we have amazing sex! Also he does make sure I come after we do it, but he complains it takes half an hour so he gives up and tells me to finish. He also scrolls thru instagram while doing it???how do I voice my needs and wants in a way that doesn’t blame? Lots of times I’ve mentioned things I want, and he tries but not hard enough. I give him hjs and bjs so he always get pleasure. should I stop being so giving ?? I don’t want to be selfish either
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