Blowjobs were traumatising for me until today when I had the best orgasm of my life

I'm 32 and unfortunately had a difficult time growing up when my cousin sexually assaulted me for many years. As a result blowjobs were extremely traumatic for me. I had gone through many years of therapy, many different partners but I couldn't enjoy or get into it. I had panic attacks and then ended up going soft whenever my ex's went down on me. My girlfriend on the other hand is absolutely amazing and understanding. We have been doing different things to test the boundaries then slowly moving up from there. It took me many months but she was so incredibly patient and understanding, unlike my previous partners she never once got upset or frustrated with me.

I'm so happy to say today when I finished work I took a shower, while I was showing my girlfriend entered the bathroom, did a little strip tease and got in the shower with me. I was naturally hard so she then started by giving me a hand job before getting on her knees to give me my first most enjoyable blowjob I've ever had. I came really fast but we didn't care, the fact that I found her lips on me while her hands cupping my nuts to be deeply pleasurable I couldn't stop orgasming and quivering for a good few moments after I came. I almost cried because for the first time I didn't have a single flashback or experience any symptom of PTSD while she was going down on me. I enjoyed every single moment of her tongue, hands and lips on me and it was so intense it made my knees weak. I love her so much, she made me enjoy something I was programmed to hate at such a young age. I can't wait till I go for bed tonight because I desperately want to experience another amazing blowjob, it's making me sweat just thinking about it now. I really hope all survivors of abuse, no matter what they've been through to heal and enjoy sex (if they find it to be an issue). I really hope my post can at least inspire one person who went through what I went through to not give up as things will get better.



Submitted May 30, 2021 at 12:04AM

I'm 32 and unfortunately had a difficult time growing up when my cousin sexually assaulted me for many years. As a result blowjobs were extremely traumatic for me. I had gone through many years of therapy, many different partners but I couldn't enjoy or get into it. I had panic attacks and then ended up going soft whenever my ex's went down on me. My girlfriend on the other hand is absolutely amazing and understanding. We have been doing different things to test the boundaries then slowly moving up from there. It took me many months but she was so incredibly patient and understanding, unlike my previous partners she never once got upset or frustrated with me.I'm so happy to say today when I finished work I took a shower, while I was showing my girlfriend entered the bathroom, did a little strip tease and got in the shower with me. I was naturally hard so she then started by giving me a hand job before getting on her knees to give me my first most enjoyable blowjob I've ever had. I came really fast but we didn't care, the fact that I found her lips on me while her hands cupping my nuts to be deeply pleasurable I couldn't stop orgasming and quivering for a good few moments after I came. I almost cried because for the first time I didn't have a single flashback or experience any symptom of PTSD while she was going down on me. I enjoyed every single moment of her tongue, hands and lips on me and it was so intense it made my knees weak. I love her so much, she made me enjoy something I was programmed to hate at such a young age. I can't wait till I go for bed tonight because I desperately want to experience another amazing blowjob, it's making me sweat just thinking about it now. I really hope all survivors of abuse, no matter what they've been through to heal and enjoy sex (if they find it to be an issue). I really hope my post can at least inspire one person who went through what I went through to not give up as things will get better.
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