Should I (23F) try to get over my fear of commitment or just stay single?

I’m an extremely independent and free spirited person and I’m really comfortable being alone. I had my first serious relationship a couple years ago and we moved pretty fast. We moved in together and he became very controlling and smothering. Got mad at me for hanging out with friends. Got mad if I got home late from work. That relationship traumatized the fuck out of me. I’ve been single again for almost 2 years now, and dating around a lot since, just for fun, not to get in a relationship. Before COVID i lived in the city and mostly dated guys who were just traveling through, that way there was no commitment. I’m back in my hometown and I’ve gone on a few dates just to get some human interaction in, and grease my love wheels I suppose. They’re usually duds but this one guy I went out with a couple weeks ago, I had so much in common with, found really attractive, looks and style wise. So we went out again last night, that went super well, and so we went for a hike together today.

We have soooo much in common, and we’re both artists, we share the same creative visions, projects we want to work on together.. he’s everything I’ve written into my “future life partner” vision boards lol, but it’s got me so anxious. I didn’t expect to meet someone like that anytime soon.

I’m only 23 and I take relationships very seriously. I’m worried if I keep hanging out with him that I’ll start to have feelings for him and it’ll be harder for me to walk away from. It took me a year to leave my ex because when I get attached, I don’t want to let go. That’s why it’s easier to stay single and just not catch feelings, not let things go deeper. I have big dreams and goals, and I don’t like staying in any one place for long. I don’t like compromising my freedom, and i know that I’ll inevitably leave the person I date at this age, to move onto other things. But I don’t have many friends around here right now and I really enjoy his company. Idk.

Should I stop hanging out with him and just forget about it?



Submitted February 28, 2021 at 12:07AM

I’m an extremely independent and free spirited person and I’m really comfortable being alone. I had my first serious relationship a couple years ago and we moved pretty fast. We moved in together and he became very controlling and smothering. Got mad at me for hanging out with friends. Got mad if I got home late from work. That relationship traumatized the fuck out of me. I’ve been single again for almost 2 years now, and dating around a lot since, just for fun, not to get in a relationship. Before COVID i lived in the city and mostly dated guys who were just traveling through, that way there was no commitment. I’m back in my hometown and I’ve gone on a few dates just to get some human interaction in, and grease my love wheels I suppose. They’re usually duds but this one guy I went out with a couple weeks ago, I had so much in common with, found really attractive, looks and style wise. So we went out again last night, that went super well, and so we went for a hike together today.We have soooo much in common, and we’re both artists, we share the same creative visions, projects we want to work on together.. he’s everything I’ve written into my “future life partner” vision boards lol, but it’s got me so anxious. I didn’t expect to meet someone like that anytime soon.I’m only 23 and I take relationships very seriously. I’m worried if I keep hanging out with him that I’ll start to have feelings for him and it’ll be harder for me to walk away from. It took me a year to leave my ex because when I get attached, I don’t want to let go. That’s why it’s easier to stay single and just not catch feelings, not let things go deeper. I have big dreams and goals, and I don’t like staying in any one place for long. I don’t like compromising my freedom, and i know that I’ll inevitably leave the person I date at this age, to move onto other things. But I don’t have many friends around here right now and I really enjoy his company. Idk.Should I stop hanging out with him and just forget about it?
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