/u/lost_enby on what do you think about everlasting love? or just love general!

I think that finding everlasting love with someone would be nice, but I don't know, I guess I'm not expecting to in my lifetime, and I won't be that surprised or disappointed if I don't. I think I really push the boundaries of what most people want in a relationship- I'm not interested in sex, I'm just not a very intimate or expressive person in general, and I don't know if I can even feel romantic love. It's hard to describe for me; I used to identify as aro ace, but I realized that do feel interest in certain other people in a "more than a friendship" way.

Maybe my idea of true love is some kind of intellectual connection. I would much prefer talking for hours with someone that gets as invested into obscure things as I do. Yeah, I guess it'd be emotional in some way, but an emotional relationship in the traditional sense never appealed to me, maybe because of my personality, and the fact that I'm most likely on the autism spectrum. There are romantic things that I'd want to do, but they'd either be some kind of societal affirmation of my gender, or because I like to cook and make stuff for other people.

I'm kinda weird because I'm an all or nothing person. If I'm looking for a relationship, and I feel like I'm not getting that connection, I easily lose interest. I know, I'm totally an ass for it, but I guess it goes back into that intellectual thing. I'd be more likely to fall for someone that I text with about speculative biology for months than someone that... I don't know, only wants to eat while sitting together? (I'm all for food, but it needs to be way more than that.) Don't get me wrong, I want to find a "soulmate", but I don't really believe I should rely on that happening with the amount of time it takes to get to know people.

I dated someone once, but I just felt nothing other than the minor intrigue that I feel about pretty much everyone because for one, it was a comphet type thing, but also, he was very emotional, and would make decisions based on that alone, and wanted me to be emotional, and that just didn't work.





November 15, 2020 at 11:33PM
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