/u/a_lonely_trash_bag on Why can't I feel valid ?

It's not uncommon for asexuals to be faced with this dilemma as they're figuring themselves out. It's true that having sex is portrayed as essential in much of society, and it can be difficult to convince yourself that you are valid.

But you don't owe anyone sex. If you don't want it, then anyone you're with should respect that. And that goes for any orientation: Gay, straight, ace. You are not obligated to provide sexual pleasure to someone.

It's really nobody else's business whether you choose to have sex. Some asexuals are fine with having sex, and even enjoy it. But they're not sexually attracted to anyone. Others are sex-repulsed, meaning they do not want sex and may actually be disgusted by it. Both are totally valid orientations! At the end of the day, it's your body, and you have the final say. If someone can't accept that, then that's their problem, not yours.

The important thing is, you have to understand there is nothing wrong with you, no matter what other people say. Just as you may be unable to imagine what it's like to be alosexual, they may be unable to imagine what it's like to be asexual. And for some people, when they don't understand something, they lash out.

And if anyone tells you you're "letting your body go to waste" simply because you're not having sex, run far far away from them. That's a clear indication that they view others more as objects to be used in a sexual relationship than as another human being with their own feelings and emotions.

Stick around this sub, there's a lot of great posts and conversations to be found here! It's really helped me understand myself better.

October 03, 2020 at 11:33PM