How do you deal with having a taste of love, but never being able to recover?

M25 here. I had my first serious relationship about 2 years ago for about half a year. She ended it after that explaining to me that her feelings for me vanished and that she does not feel comfortable around me anymore. I accepted that of course, secretly hoping that she would come back to me eventually but she never did and never will I think. I have always had a hard time dealing with being dumped in any kind of way and always needed longer periods of time to get over it than I should have. This time though really hit hard when I couldn't keep channelling my grief with working out because of an injury, following with having a really sad and depressive couple of months, sometimes even thinking about suicide. I don't know if that's normal or not, given that it was my first real and official relationship ever.

Today I could say that I'm over her personally, but at the same time not over having a relationship. Being with a significant other or someone who is interested in you mutually really makes me happy and has, without a doubt, been one of the best moments in my life. I know that that's not really a healthy attitude, making your own happiness dependant on someone else, but hey, we're humans right? We're social animals. It's what has kept us going over the ages.

It's still as if something is lacking. That I need something in my life I don't have anymore. Still cherishing every kind of attention you would normally get in a relationship. Good Morning and Good Night Texts, being able to vent to someone dearly, being able to be there for that person in every way. That's what I'm missing most. And still, and this is really conflicting, I fear opening up to someone new.again. To build up something from scratch, just for it to crumble down in the end if things don't work out again. Of course I tried dating again, but I immediately feel uncomfortable when things start to get on their way, having broken off several dating connections because of it. I know that's not healthy, but I can't help it. I don't even know if me talking right now is making any sense to those reading this at all. But thank you if you did so. It's really difficult finding someone to vent to nowadays, because everyone has to deal with their own problems, so yeah, thank you

Submitted October 16, 2020 at 11:50PM

M25 here. I had my first serious relationship about 2 years ago for about half a year. She ended it after that explaining to me that her feelings for me vanished and that she does not feel comfortable around me anymore. I accepted that of course, secretly hoping that she would come back to me eventually but she never did and never will I think. I have always had a hard time dealing with being dumped in any kind of way and always needed longer periods of time to get over it than I should have. This time though really hit hard when I couldn't keep channelling my grief with working out because of an injury, following with having a really sad and depressive couple of months, sometimes even thinking about suicide. I don't know if that's normal or not, given that it was my first real and official relationship ever.Today I could say that I'm over her personally, but at the same time not over having a relationship. Being with a significant other or someone who is interested in you mutually really makes me happy and has, without a doubt, been one of the best moments in my life. I know that that's not really a healthy attitude, making your own happiness dependant on someone else, but hey, we're humans right? We're social animals. It's what has kept us going over the ages.It's still as if something is lacking. That I need something in my life I don't have anymore. Still cherishing every kind of attention you would normally get in a relationship. Good Morning and Good Night Texts, being able to vent to someone dearly, being able to be there for that person in every way. That's what I'm missing most. And still, and this is really conflicting, I fear opening up to someone new.again. To build up something from scratch, just for it to crumble down in the end if things don't work out again. Of course I tried dating again, but I immediately feel uncomfortable when things start to get on their way, having broken off several dating connections because of it. I know that's not healthy, but I can't help it. I don't even know if me talking right now is making any sense to those reading this at all. But thank you if you did so. It's really difficult finding someone to vent to nowadays, because everyone has to deal with their own problems, so yeah, thank you