Can you 'push' someone to be more forthcoming?

I [32M] matched with a woman [34F] on OKC a few weeks ago. Based on profiles, it seemed that we have a lot in common. We exchanged a few messages, then she sent me her number. We texted a bit for a few days, and then I asked her to meet me for a socially-distanced date in the park last Sunday. It was pretty nice, spent a couple hours chatting, and split a bunch of fruit and some drinks we got at a local store.

We both agreed we want to get to know each other more, texted every day this week, and then I asked her yesterday if she wanted to have a proper picnic. Since then, it's been like pulling teeth making the plan. How do you make a plan with someone you've been out with once/barely know and answers your questions with things like "I like everything" and "doesn't matter to me"? I feel like a puppeteer here. I'm sure some might find it nice, but I enjoy collaborating for plans.

(my texts are in italics)

Her: are you doing anything special for Labor Day weekend?

Me: hey! i have a 4-day weekend but not as busy as last, haha. plan to go hiking 1 of the days. how about you?

Her: nice! nothing too crazy for me. planning beach day with friends for Monday, and grilling afternoon on Sunday. That's about it

Me: classic! are you doing the grilling?

Me: speaking of yum, do you want to grab food from one of your favorite spots and make a proper picnic?

Her: No my friend is hosting. She lives across the street from my old apt, only a few blocks away.

Her: Sure, ya that sounds great. Or I also could come closer to you. Let's figure out when is a convenient time

Me: Okay. What beach are you headed to mon? And I doubt on sun you'll wanna have a picnic before a BBQ, haha

Her: Great question! TBD. Right now, BBQ is scheduled for "afternoon/evening". so it's possible could do a brunch/lunch picnic, if Sunday is good for you

Me: how is saturday? i was targeting sat or sun to hike, so can go sunday, since you have the bbq

Her: My Saturday is totally flexible, works for me

Me: Saturday it is! so what's one of your favorite spots you haven't been to/ordered from in forever?

Her: Hmm I'll have to think about that. Would also depend where we're meeting. Also I don't want you to feel like you have all the way to me again

Me: I appreciate that, but I don' t mind. i was thinking we could try [XYZ] park since i'm not sure what would be a good halfway point.

Her: [XYZ] park is nice! Ha, could also do [ABC place]. Lots and lots of food options, in both places

Her: Saturday looks like nice weather

Me: yeah! late summer/early fall is one of my favorite times of year. how about you?

Me: have you been to [ABC place]?

Her: Fall is my favorite, with a preference to later half I guess, when it's colder

Her: Yes

Me: yesss. chilly and dry > hot and humid.

Me: I looked into [ABC place] but there aren't really any food places in the area except a lone deli

Her: *leaves emoji*

Me: crunchy leaves add to the appeal

Me: what food do you like besides ice cream? no allergies, right?

Her: I like everything. Beer and ice cream, yes. But also vegetables, spicy food

Me: right, you cook vegetarian at home!

Me: do you know a place called [123 restaurant]? they have vietnamese sandwiches.

Her: Yes, it's one of my friends old favorites. I haven't had it in many years

Me: great, let's do [123 restaurant], and we can complement with some ipas. looks like there's 2 locations. do you prefer one or the other?

Her: o i didn't know there were two! just know the one near my friend's apt. i guess whichever is closer to the park / doesn't matter to me :)



Submitted September 03, 2020 at 11:15PM

I [32M] matched with a woman [34F] on OKC a few weeks ago. Based on profiles, it seemed that we have a lot in common. We exchanged a few messages, then she sent me her number. We texted a bit for a few days, and then I asked her to meet me for a socially-distanced date in the park last Sunday. It was pretty nice, spent a couple hours chatting, and split a bunch of fruit and some drinks we got at a local store.We both agreed we want to get to know each other more, texted every day this week, and then I asked her yesterday if she wanted to have a proper picnic. Since then, it's been like pulling teeth making the plan. How do you make a plan with someone you've been out with once/barely know and answers your questions with things like "I like everything" and "doesn't matter to me"? I feel like a puppeteer here. I'm sure some might find it nice, but I enjoy collaborating for plans.​(my texts are in italics)​Her: are you doing anything special for Labor Day weekend?​Me: hey! i have a 4-day weekend but not as busy as last, haha. plan to go hiking 1 of the days. how about you?​Her: nice! nothing too crazy for me. planning beach day with friends for Monday, and grilling afternoon on Sunday. That's about it​Me: classic! are you doing the grilling?Me: speaking of yum, do you want to grab food from one of your favorite spots and make a proper picnic?​Her: No my friend is hosting. She lives across the street from my old apt, only a few blocks away.Her: Sure, ya that sounds great. Or I also could come closer to you. Let's figure out when is a convenient time​Me: Okay. What beach are you headed to mon? And I doubt on sun you'll wanna have a picnic before a BBQ, haha​Her: Great question! TBD. Right now, BBQ is scheduled for "afternoon/evening". so it's possible could do a brunch/lunch picnic, if Sunday is good for you​Me: how is saturday? i was targeting sat or sun to hike, so can go sunday, since you have the bbq​Her: My Saturday is totally flexible, works for me​Me: Saturday it is! so what's one of your favorite spots you haven't been to/ordered from in forever?​Her: Hmm I'll have to think about that. Would also depend where we're meeting. Also I don't want you to feel like you have all the way to me again​Me: I appreciate that, but I don' t mind. i was thinking we could try [XYZ] park since i'm not sure what would be a good halfway point.​Her: [XYZ] park is nice! Ha, could also do [ABC place]. Lots and lots of food options, in both placesHer: Saturday looks like nice weather​Me: yeah! late summer/early fall is one of my favorite times of year. how about you?Me: have you been to [ABC place]?​Her: Fall is my favorite, with a preference to later half I guess, when it's colderHer: Yes​Me: yesss. chilly and dry > hot and humid.Me: I looked into [ABC place] but there aren't really any food places in the area except a lone deli​Her: *leaves emoji*​Me: crunchy leaves add to the appealMe: what food do you like besides ice cream? no allergies, right?​Her: I like everything. Beer and ice cream, yes. But also vegetables, spicy food​Me: right, you cook vegetarian at home!Me: do you know a place called [123 restaurant]? they have vietnamese sandwiches.​Her: Yes, it's one of my friends old favorites. I haven't had it in many years​Me: great, let's do [123 restaurant], and we can complement with some ipas. looks like there's 2 locations. do you prefer one or the other?​Her: o i didn't know there were two! just know the one near my friend's apt. i guess whichever is closer to the park / doesn't matter to me :)

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