Red flags or am I overreacting?

She's 29 and I'm 30. Dating for 3 months and officially exclusive for 2-3 weeks.

This week she's either shown me some SERIOUS red flags, or I'm overreacting.

1.) We had a date night scheduled for friday, which we set up last sunday. Yesterday she cancelled and asked to reschedule for saturday. This was fine, but she didn't tell me why she needed to reschedule, and when I said "yeah that's fine. everything cool?" She responded saying she "forgot" that she had told her sister she would babysit for her friday. This is already a little bit sketchy to me, but on top of that, this is a woman who TOLD ME she writes everything down on her calendar. So she really forgot completely AND didn't see it on her calendar from sunday all the way to wednesday? Not impossible, but seemed unlikely to me.

2.) After the rescheduling yesterday, she sent me a snap a couple hours later. I responded to the snap saying something that (I thought) was funny, and she didn't respond. Not even a laughing emoji or whatever, which she'd usually do to gracefully end the conversation.

3.) Some time after ^^^ she posted a mirror selfie thirst trap "look at my ass" pic of her in short shorts on her snap story (meaning it's public and all her snapchat friends can see it) with the caption "bedtime" or something. As a guy I know what guys will think and try to do when they see pics like these. Also, the ONLY reason to post pics like these PUBLICLY is for male attention. She does this about once every week or two.

3a.) She's early bird--meaning she goes to bed and wakes up early. And she usually tells me she's getting tired and is going to bed around 9/930pm to, nicely, kick me out. Including when we hungout Tuesday. Last night she posted that ass selfie at like 1030pm. So she "can't" hangout with me that late, yet she's up posting an ass pics that late? Huh?

4.) Today she snaps me again. It's a pic of a tiny bit of preworkout powder in a spoon with the caption "lol this is how much preworkout I've been using."

Short conversation ensues...

Me: lmao. don't be a pussy. chug that shit Sarah (I'm saying this jokingly and teasingly, just to clarify, and she knows this)

Her: if I take more than that it feels like my heart will beat out of my chest *3 laughing emojis*

Me: Take three tablespoons and you'll have that Buster energy lol (inside joke--Buster is her dog and he's always got crazy energy)

I check a few hours later and she opened/read the message but never responded. Again. Like I said before, she'd usually always respond with a laughing emoji or SOMETHING to gracefully end the conversation in cases like this, but not the last couple times for some reason. Just nothing.

I REALLY want to make this work because we have rare chemistry that I've only felt with a few other people EVER. We had plans to take a trip to the beach together, to go to a family member's wedding together, to help me move to my new place in october, etc, but this is taking a serious toll on me... She obviously isn't affected, but I'm over here feeling like this "relationship" is about to end and so on edge that even my mom coming over and asking me questions is bothering me.

To be honest, I feel like I'm dangerously close to saying something stupid/immature the next time we hangout. Like calling her out about the ass pics and other things I feel are red flags, as well as telling her I'm having a hard time trusting her, that I think she's very secretive and sketchy, that it feels like she's pushing me away and every time she does these things it inches me closer and closer to seeing other women.

So am I overreacting horribly? Am I crazy?



Submitted August 13, 2020 at 11:25PM

She's 29 and I'm 30. Dating for 3 months and officially exclusive for 2-3 weeks.This week she's either shown me some SERIOUS red flags, or I'm overreacting.1.) We had a date night scheduled for friday, which we set up last sunday. Yesterday she cancelled and asked to reschedule for saturday. This was fine, but she didn't tell me why she needed to reschedule, and when I said "yeah that's fine. everything cool?" She responded saying she "forgot" that she had told her sister she would babysit for her friday. This is already a little bit sketchy to me, but on top of that, this is a woman who TOLD ME she writes everything down on her calendar. So she really forgot completely AND didn't see it on her calendar from sunday all the way to wednesday? Not impossible, but seemed unlikely to me.2.) After the rescheduling yesterday, she sent me a snap a couple hours later. I responded to the snap saying something that (I thought) was funny, and she didn't respond. Not even a laughing emoji or whatever, which she'd usually do to gracefully end the conversation.3.) Some time after ^^^ she posted a mirror selfie thirst trap "look at my ass" pic of her in short shorts on her snap story (meaning it's public and all her snapchat friends can see it) with the caption "bedtime" or something. As a guy I know what guys will think and try to do when they see pics like these. Also, the ONLY reason to post pics like these PUBLICLY is for male attention. She does this about once every week or two.3a.) She's early bird--meaning she goes to bed and wakes up early. And she usually tells me she's getting tired and is going to bed around 9/930pm to, nicely, kick me out. Including when we hungout Tuesday. Last night she posted that ass selfie at like 1030pm. So she "can't" hangout with me that late, yet she's up posting an ass pics that late? Huh?4.) Today she snaps me again. It's a pic of a tiny bit of preworkout powder in a spoon with the caption "lol this is how much preworkout I've been using."Short conversation ensues...Me: lmao. don't be a pussy. chug that shit Sarah (I'm saying this jokingly and teasingly, just to clarify, and she knows this)Her: if I take more than that it feels like my heart will beat out of my chest *3 laughing emojis*Me: Take three tablespoons and you'll have that Buster energy lol (inside joke--Buster is her dog and he's always got crazy energy)I check a few hours later and she opened/read the message but never responded. Again. Like I said before, she'd usually always respond with a laughing emoji or SOMETHING to gracefully end the conversation in cases like this, but not the last couple times for some reason. Just nothing.I REALLY want to make this work because we have rare chemistry that I've only felt with a few other people EVER. We had plans to take a trip to the beach together, to go to a family member's wedding together, to help me move to my new place in october, etc, but this is taking a serious toll on me... She obviously isn't affected, but I'm over here feeling like this "relationship" is about to end and so on edge that even my mom coming over and asking me questions is bothering me.To be honest, I feel like I'm dangerously close to saying something stupid/immature the next time we hangout. Like calling her out about the ass pics and other things I feel are red flags, as well as telling her I'm having a hard time trusting her, that I think she's very secretive and sketchy, that it feels like she's pushing me away and every time she does these things it inches me closer and closer to seeing other women.So am I overreacting horribly? Am I crazy?
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