/u/lawful_moth on How do I stop hating myself for being ace?

I'm sorry to hear this, OP. I know it's difficult to hear, and certainly more difficult to accept, but there is nothing wrong with you. When it comes to internalized self-hatred, sometimes you've thought about something (like asexuality) negatively for so long that it's almost like...the path of least resistance for your brain, if that makes sense? You have a cycle, and I think that's important. Take note of it: what makes it better? What makes it worse? When you're thinking positively about your sexuality, where are you at mentality? Try to be conscious of these things, and when you know you're in a spot where acephobia can rear its head, be mentally ready for it. I'm not sure if I'm articulating this properly, but sometimes when you consciously take stock of these things and be really deliberate about your thoughts, you can sort of teach yourself to think differently. Like, the cycle will still happen, but you expect and you can prepare for it. I don't have anything to offer about your partner, as I have never had one. All I can say is that open, honest communication is always a good start. Ask them if there is another way you could show them your "desire." Does it have to be sexual? I hope this helps. Good luck!

June 22, 2020 at 11:25PM