We're just friends, I like him but didn't want to come on to him too strong. Did I screw up?

So I'm super embarassed LOL.

I'm friends with this guy who lives in a diff country and we've been getting closer recently. I've always had a thing for him but I don't want want him to know, I don't to initiate anything at this time, and don't want to make myself seem desperate. I just want our friendship to keep growing and strengthening over time and just see what happens.

So this happened over text.

On a recent phone call, he told me he'd send me videos of how he'd been improvising exercise with household objects during the stay-at-home order.

So the next day he sent me videos of himself working out, which he hadn't ever done before. He captioned it something like "yup, working hard lol" (rough translation from a diff language)

I totally forgot about the premise that he was gonna show me this household object technique. So I just replied saying (rough translation again) "yeah i can tell you've been working hard. -winky face-"

And says something like "I was showing you something else (i.e. the technique), I don't know what you're looking at -laughing face-"

The conversation was fine after that and we kept it light, but I feel like I made myself look exactly how I didn't want to look.

I am cringing typing that out, and also in even posting this because it feels like a juvenile thing to fret over, but underlying it is a deep feeling of embarrassment at having interrupted the dynamic we were both comfortable in.

This sounds weird, but I want to keep our friendship in a holding pattern for a while until we potentially see each other in person in a few months. I don't want to rush and ruin things and signal anything romantic intentions before I get what our vibe is like in person now (we only hung out in person once, more than a year ago).

I am just looking for people's thoughts — did I potentially freak him out? How do I get over the embarrassment of accidentally flirting and being softly rejected in the flirting? I don't want to have cheapened our friendship somehow. Am I mis-perceiving things? Thoughts?



Submitted May 20, 2020 at 12:15AM

So I'm super embarassed LOL.I'm friends with this guy who lives in a diff country and we've been getting closer recently. I've always had a thing for him but I don't want want him to know, I don't to initiate anything at this time, and don't want to make myself seem desperate. I just want our friendship to keep growing and strengthening over time and just see what happens.So this happened over text.On a recent phone call, he told me he'd send me videos of how he'd been improvising exercise with household objects during the stay-at-home order.So the next day he sent me videos of himself working out, which he hadn't ever done before. He captioned it something like "yup, working hard lol" (rough translation from a diff language)I totally forgot about the premise that he was gonna show me this household object technique. So I just replied saying (rough translation again) "yeah i can tell you've been working hard. -winky face-"And says something like "I was showing you something else (i.e. the technique), I don't know what you're looking at -laughing face-"The conversation was fine after that and we kept it light, but I feel like I made myself look exactly how I didn't want to look.I am cringing typing that out, and also in even posting this because it feels like a juvenile thing to fret over, but underlying it is a deep feeling of embarrassment at having interrupted the dynamic we were both comfortable in.This sounds weird, but I want to keep our friendship in a holding pattern for a while until we potentially see each other in person in a few months. I don't want to rush and ruin things and signal anything romantic intentions before I get what our vibe is like in person now (we only hung out in person once, more than a year ago).I am just looking for people's thoughts — did I potentially freak him out? How do I get over the embarrassment of accidentally flirting and being softly rejected in the flirting? I don't want to have cheapened our friendship somehow. Am I mis-perceiving things? Thoughts?
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Add Comments, Posts, Links... etc.

Popular posts from this blog

The difference between being right and being understood

My boyfriend and I are 28. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years and recently moved in together. He’s a pretty patient and easygoing person (Type B) whereas I’m more particular (Type A). Of course there are two sides to every trait, and my Type A nature benefits us in some ways too. Like all couples, we have differences in perspective or preference. When this happens, he will usually say something like “I disagree (with your perspective) but fine.” I tend to push the issue in an attempt to get him to understand where I’m coming from. This escalates the disagreement into a fight because he perceives it as me trying to be “right”. I truly just want to be understood (and I want to understand where he’s coming from) so I’m looking for more of a dialogue whereas he avoids conflict and just wants it to be over as quickly as possible. His general approach is “agree to disagree” but that doesn’t make sense to me when it’s an issue that will keep coming up and requires compromise. I’m n...
Read more

My (27f) gf (27f) is getting tired of me not sharing intimate/ personal info about me

I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love with her, however I can not seem to open up... and I can tell it’s frustrating to her by the way she tells me it bothers her that she feels she’s the only one committed and the one that’s always sharing... At this point I don’t even know if it is that I’ve gotten too used to it, to the point I’ve became lazy to talk about myself or give any genuine personal opinion... it sucks, really, I need to communicate better... Where do I start? Tl;dr: I can’t be completely intimate with my gf and its frustrating her, I need to communicate better because I really love her... where to start? Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:02AM I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love ...
Read more

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) relationship is confusing to me. I might be the problem, or maybe we are just incompatible.

I met my girlfriend after a few serious breakups that led me to change both intentionally and unintentionally over a few years. For better and for worse. She had just gotten out of an engagement with a verbally and physically abusive man who had a cocaine problem. We have been together about 8 months now. We hit it off and spent a lot of time together but she began to push our relationship as if there were a time clock for milestones. I was pressed beyond my comfort zone and went with it because of my affection for her. My living situation fell apart and I lost a few thousand dollars to shit roommates right around the time she and I met and she offered to let me stay with her. I agreed with some resistance. I pay for food, help her with bills, and throw money toward rent while trying to get back on my feet. As long as we have been together she has gotten more possessive, angry, and irrational. She is dealing with shit from her engagement and I feel shes looking for a level of seriou...
Read more