We're just friends, I like him but didn't want to come on to him too strong. Did I screw up?

So I'm super embarassed LOL.

I'm friends with this guy who lives in a diff country and we've been getting closer recently. I've always had a thing for him but I don't want want him to know, I don't to initiate anything at this time, and don't want to make myself seem desperate. I just want our friendship to keep growing and strengthening over time and just see what happens.

So this happened over text.

On a recent phone call, he told me he'd send me videos of how he'd been improvising exercise with household objects during the stay-at-home order.

So the next day he sent me videos of himself working out, which he hadn't ever done before. He captioned it something like "yup, working hard lol" (rough translation from a diff language)

I totally forgot about the premise that he was gonna show me this household object technique. So I just replied saying (rough translation again) "yeah i can tell you've been working hard. -winky face-"

And says something like "I was showing you something else (i.e. the technique), I don't know what you're looking at -laughing face-"

The conversation was fine after that and we kept it light, but I feel like I made myself look exactly how I didn't want to look.

I am cringing typing that out, and also in even posting this because it feels like a juvenile thing to fret over, but underlying it is a deep feeling of embarrassment at having interrupted the dynamic we were both comfortable in.

This sounds weird, but I want to keep our friendship in a holding pattern for a while until we potentially see each other in person in a few months. I don't want to rush and ruin things and signal anything romantic intentions before I get what our vibe is like in person now (we only hung out in person once, more than a year ago).

I am just looking for people's thoughts — did I potentially freak him out? How do I get over the embarrassment of accidentally flirting and being softly rejected in the flirting? I don't want to have cheapened our friendship somehow. Am I mis-perceiving things? Thoughts?



Submitted May 20, 2020 at 12:15AM

So I'm super embarassed LOL.I'm friends with this guy who lives in a diff country and we've been getting closer recently. I've always had a thing for him but I don't want want him to know, I don't to initiate anything at this time, and don't want to make myself seem desperate. I just want our friendship to keep growing and strengthening over time and just see what happens.So this happened over text.On a recent phone call, he told me he'd send me videos of how he'd been improvising exercise with household objects during the stay-at-home order.So the next day he sent me videos of himself working out, which he hadn't ever done before. He captioned it something like "yup, working hard lol" (rough translation from a diff language)I totally forgot about the premise that he was gonna show me this household object technique. So I just replied saying (rough translation again) "yeah i can tell you've been working hard. -winky face-"And says something like "I was showing you something else (i.e. the technique), I don't know what you're looking at -laughing face-"The conversation was fine after that and we kept it light, but I feel like I made myself look exactly how I didn't want to look.I am cringing typing that out, and also in even posting this because it feels like a juvenile thing to fret over, but underlying it is a deep feeling of embarrassment at having interrupted the dynamic we were both comfortable in.This sounds weird, but I want to keep our friendship in a holding pattern for a while until we potentially see each other in person in a few months. I don't want to rush and ruin things and signal anything romantic intentions before I get what our vibe is like in person now (we only hung out in person once, more than a year ago).I am just looking for people's thoughts — did I potentially freak him out? How do I get over the embarrassment of accidentally flirting and being softly rejected in the flirting? I don't want to have cheapened our friendship somehow. Am I mis-perceiving things? Thoughts?
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