/u/ilike2snap on Mom Is Concerned Me Being Ace Has Underlining Causes, Really Need Input
My (29F) sexuality was also formed on non-consensual fantasies. I don’t think it has anything to do with my a-spec sexuality now. I heard somewhere that BDSM is the most common fantasy for asexuals. It doesn’t sound at all like the erotica you were reading “scared” you... it sounds like you enjoyed it and it aroused you, which is normal and okay. I think most people are exposed to this type of fantasy as well, so it’s unrealistic for you mom to think she could have prevented this. Many people who were exposed to this stuff early are also allosexual when they grow up. In fact, non consent is a fairly common fantasy for straight women. It doesn’t mean they’d want this in reality. In our fantasies, we’re in total control, so it’s very different and there is no real danger. I don’t think it’s anything for either of you to worry about. I’m sorry she’s making you feel like your feelings aren’t valid. Maybe if she read more about asexuality it would help her understand. It is curious why several of us have this experience of having this turn on as our only turn on though. I think I’m aegosexual because of this. I wonder maybe if it’s our brains compensating for not being aroused by people, we have to narrate elaborate and intense sexual situations? I have no idea; just discovering all this myself as well.
April 29, 2020 at 11:58PM
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