Finding myself to like butt stuff and I feel really conflicted and negative about it

It’s always been such a turn off to me and I’ve never had any desire to have anything done to my butt. The whole thing is just really gross to me and not sexual (no offense to anyone). I had experimented a little bit with it in my previous relationship but it was painful and rather forced on me and I didn’t enjoy it. My new boyfriend and I both agreed that it was off limits and he didn’t have any interest in it either. However one thing led to another (all consensual, mostly me entertaining it) and somehow we ended up experimenting a little bit with it and surprisingly I enjoyed it a lot, way too much. It’s just a finger and he’s extremely gentle and not forceful or pushy at all. In combination with other things it makes me cum extremely quick and sadly feels better than any other method of orgasming I’ve felt. I say sadly because I just wish it wasn’t true almost. I mean it feels amazing but why does it have to be my butt? I hate the thought of butt stuff and I hate that I actually enjoy it. I feel so ashamed and grossed out and embarrassed and I just really wish it didn’t feel good. I don’t know how to get over these feelings. I did not want to incorporate my butt into sex at all and I’m really disappointed that I enjoy it. I know I probably sound crazy but hopefully someone understands me here.



Submitted April 30, 2020 at 12:00AM

It’s always been such a turn off to me and I’ve never had any desire to have anything done to my butt. The whole thing is just really gross to me and not sexual (no offense to anyone). I had experimented a little bit with it in my previous relationship but it was painful and rather forced on me and I didn’t enjoy it. My new boyfriend and I both agreed that it was off limits and he didn’t have any interest in it either. However one thing led to another (all consensual, mostly me entertaining it) and somehow we ended up experimenting a little bit with it and surprisingly I enjoyed it a lot, way too much. It’s just a finger and he’s extremely gentle and not forceful or pushy at all. In combination with other things it makes me cum extremely quick and sadly feels better than any other method of orgasming I’ve felt. I say sadly because I just wish it wasn’t true almost. I mean it feels amazing but why does it have to be my butt? I hate the thought of butt stuff and I hate that I actually enjoy it. I feel so ashamed and grossed out and embarrassed and I just really wish it didn’t feel good. I don’t know how to get over these feelings. I did not want to incorporate my butt into sex at all and I’m really disappointed that I enjoy it. I know I probably sound crazy but hopefully someone understands me here.
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