Need advice...

So my husband and I are young (both 23, about to be 24) and have been married a little over a year. We get along well for the most part. Our more frequent fights have to do with finances and responsibilities in the home... I graduated college in 2018 and my husband is still in school, this semester was his first year at university and he will graduate in the next 2 years (he did his undergrad at a community college). My husband worked at small restaurant in town (before quarantine) but I pushed him to start looking for a job that would be more suitable to his criminal justice degree. He ended up quitting his job without finding a new one, then told me it was essentially my fault he was without work because I suggested he look for a new job though I never actually told him to quit. I am a full time teacher and have been working completely online. During quarantine, he has increasingly been spending time hanging out with friends, playing video games, and encouraging people to spend the night at our home.

It all came to a head the other day when I told him it needed to stop and he needed to get a job or start doing things around the house. This was met with immediate defense saying things like “I did the dishes yesterday, so you need to do them” or “When was the last time you took out the trash?” Though I have also been doing household chores during this time. I told him since I am working full time and am the only one bringing money in, I feel it is fair for him to take on the majority of household responsibilities.

He blew up and essentially said no, then told me friends were coming over so he could check out a problem with their car. I honestly just do not know what to do and am really hoping someone can offer advice. This isn’t the first fight we’ve had and it’s not the biggest either, there have been much worse fights between us. Just hoping to get some advice!

Submitted April 19, 2020 at 11:50PM

So my husband and I are young (both 23, about to be 24) and have been married a little over a year. We get along well for the most part. Our more frequent fights have to do with finances and responsibilities in the home... I graduated college in 2018 and my husband is still in school, this semester was his first year at university and he will graduate in the next 2 years (he did his undergrad at a community college). My husband worked at small restaurant in town (before quarantine) but I pushed him to start looking for a job that would be more suitable to his criminal justice degree. He ended up quitting his job without finding a new one, then told me it was essentially my fault he was without work because I suggested he look for a new job though I never actually told him to quit. I am a full time teacher and have been working completely online. During quarantine, he has increasingly been spending time hanging out with friends, playing video games, and encouraging people to spend the night at our home.It all came to a head the other day when I told him it needed to stop and he needed to get a job or start doing things around the house. This was met with immediate defense saying things like “I did the dishes yesterday, so you need to do them” or “When was the last time you took out the trash?” Though I have also been doing household chores during this time. I told him since I am working full time and am the only one bringing money in, I feel it is fair for him to take on the majority of household responsibilities.He blew up and essentially said no, then told me friends were coming over so he could check out a problem with their car. I honestly just do not know what to do and am really hoping someone can offer advice. This isn’t the first fight we’ve had and it’s not the biggest either, there have been much worse fights between us. Just hoping to get some advice!