My [23F] boyfriend [25M] of two years cannot get me off and it's honestly ruining our relationship

I want to start by saying that my boyfriend is the kindest, most thoughtful, loyal, affectionate person I've ever dated (or even known). Our relstionship is great. We are each others best friends, we go on dates, we go on trips, we have good lives and support each other but the sex has become unbearable to me.

Early on (first 8-9 months) we had sex up to 10 times a day. It was fun. The sex was good even though I never got off. I found myself very attracted to him and wanting him all the time. Our sex life waned, then i went off my birth control for a few months because of the hormones and the risk of pregnancy turned me on, but the past six months or so, the sex has been boring.

I found myself pretending im enjoying sex, then being very frank that i wasnt enjoying it. We bought a sex toy but honestly i find it way too stimulating. I stopped masturabting for a while and try to not to watch porn anymore. I have mentioned to him blantantly that i am unsatisfied and want to get off because otherwise our relationship would be absolutely perfect and hes been receptive. Ive told him that ive considered leaving because I dont find myself a) wanting sex with him and b) having any motivation to do the deed when i know i wont enjoy it. He suggested sex therapy but i feel like its sad and ridiculous to already need sex therapy as two healthy people who are in loe and havent been together long.

Im not looking for suggestions to break up. I just want to collect resources that could help me solve this problem. Ill try to answer questions if i left anything pertinent out of my post.

TL;DR: love boyfriend, sex is a chore, cant get off, need help fixing current lack of sexual chemistry



Submitted February 07, 2020 at 10:59PM

I want to start by saying that my boyfriend is the kindest, most thoughtful, loyal, affectionate person I've ever dated (or even known). Our relstionship is great. We are each others best friends, we go on dates, we go on trips, we have good lives and support each other but the sex has become unbearable to me.Early on (first 8-9 months) we had sex up to 10 times a day. It was fun. The sex was good even though I never got off. I found myself very attracted to him and wanting him all the time. Our sex life waned, then i went off my birth control for a few months because of the hormones and the risk of pregnancy turned me on, but the past six months or so, the sex has been boring.I found myself pretending im enjoying sex, then being very frank that i wasnt enjoying it. We bought a sex toy but honestly i find it way too stimulating. I stopped masturabting for a while and try to not to watch porn anymore. I have mentioned to him blantantly that i am unsatisfied and want to get off because otherwise our relationship would be absolutely perfect and hes been receptive. Ive told him that ive considered leaving because I dont find myself a) wanting sex with him and b) having any motivation to do the deed when i know i wont enjoy it. He suggested sex therapy but i feel like its sad and ridiculous to already need sex therapy as two healthy people who are in loe and havent been together long.Im not looking for suggestions to break up. I just want to collect resources that could help me solve this problem. Ill try to answer questions if i left anything pertinent out of my post.TL;DR: love boyfriend, sex is a chore, cant get off, need help fixing current lack of sexual chemistry
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