I (31M) am disgusted by the thought of my gf (30F) having had sex with other men

First of all, I know I'm 100% the f'd up one here. My gf has slept with 8 men before me. They were all relationships, although I don't really care about the nature of the relationships. I don't even care/am jealous that she was in love with 8 dudes before me. My gf is my second sexual experience. My first gf was a virgin.

It's the PHYSICAL act of sex with other dudes that disgusts me. I get very detailed and graphic in my thoughts. I find semen (even my own) to be quite disgusting and I hate that 8 men have repeatedly ejaculated into my gf's precious v. Or that 8 men have put their nasty penises in my gf's mouth.

I don't really get these thoughts when I'm sleeping with my gf, I just often do when I'm alone or sometimes when I'm talking to her my mind will just drift that way.

I think I need therapy, but I pretty embarrassed to talk to anyone about this because I feel like an idiot. Any advice?



Submitted February 21, 2020 at 11:53PM

First of all, I know I'm 100% the f'd up one here. My gf has slept with 8 men before me. They were all relationships, although I don't really care about the nature of the relationships. I don't even care/am jealous that she was in love with 8 dudes before me. My gf is my second sexual experience. My first gf was a virgin.It's the PHYSICAL act of sex with other dudes that disgusts me. I get very detailed and graphic in my thoughts. I find semen (even my own) to be quite disgusting and I hate that 8 men have repeatedly ejaculated into my gf's precious v. Or that 8 men have put their nasty penises in my gf's mouth.I don't really get these thoughts when I'm sleeping with my gf, I just often do when I'm alone or sometimes when I'm talking to her my mind will just drift that way.I think I need therapy, but I pretty embarrassed to talk to anyone about this because I feel like an idiot. Any advice?
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