I (24F) need my parents (60M and F) to cosign my lease. They only agree on the condition they can help me financially so I can get a better place, but they will most likely disown me once I come out as gay. Help me navigate this please.

Hello everybody.

I am moving cities, and I'll be a student at first in my new city but I already have a job lined up after I finish my 6 month skills update course. Because of this and some other factors I had trouble finding accommodation and it appears after extensive search my by faaar the best option would be to have my parents cosign my rental or give a guarantee (i'll use cosign for short).

The problem: my parents don't like any places I chose as they're either too small, or in a not-the-nicest neighborhoods. True, but this is what I can comfortably afford with my savings + salary for the first couple years of my job. (I really don't want roommates, but it wouldnt make a difference since my parents would be against roommates as well).

My parents are very financially comfortable and they insist on helping me pay rent for this time instead of cosigning the lease for a place they don't like. Which I am already uncomfortable with as I am an adult, and I don't want to have someone paying my freaking rent. But there's a bigger problem

I am gay and I really want to come out. I just can't do the closet thing anymore. I don't want to go into detail why because this post is not about it but it's taking a massive mental health toll on me. But my parents are extremely conservative and after I come out, if they don't disown me they definetely won't send financial help. If anything I believe they will do anything in their power to get me back to the hometown from the big bad liberal city. They might try to get out of cosigned rental as well but as long as it doesn't have a break clause I am hoping I'll be good.

I want to reiterate i know i am not entitled to their money, I am glad to live in a tiny studio or further out from the center of the city, my parents just outright refuse to sign.

The options I am seeing so far:

- say fuck it and go live in tiny extremely overpriced accommodations with shady landlords that agree to take me without a cosignor

- find some sort of short term rental that satisfies my parents (6 months?), delay my coming out, and move when the short term rental ends hoping the accommodated payment history will help me get a new place. Problems with that: (a) short term rentals are expensive, (b) moving is expensive, (c) idk how to explain to my parents why I am getting short term rental.

Is there an option I am missing here?

TL;DR: I need my parents to cosign my lease if I am to move. My parents don't want to cosign my lease unless I move into a place that satisfies them, i.e. is in a good area and quite spacious. Since I can't afford a place like that, they want to help me with the rent money, which they can easily afford. However, they'll 99% withdraw that support once they find out I am gay. How do I stealth my way through this situation?

Submitted January 14, 2020 at 11:53PM

Hello everybody.I am moving cities, and I'll be a student at first in my new city but I already have a job lined up after I finish my 6 month skills update course. Because of this and some other factors I had trouble finding accommodation and it appears after extensive search my by faaar the best option would be to have my parents cosign my rental or give a guarantee (i'll use cosign for short).The problem: my parents don't like any places I chose as they're either too small, or in a not-the-nicest neighborhoods. True, but this is what I can comfortably afford with my savings + salary for the first couple years of my job. (I really don't want roommates, but it wouldnt make a difference since my parents would be against roommates as well).My parents are very financially comfortable and they insist on helping me pay rent for this time instead of cosigning the lease for a place they don't like. Which I am already uncomfortable with as I am an adult, and I don't want to have someone paying my freaking rent. But there's a bigger problemI am gay and I really want to come out. I just can't do the closet thing anymore. I don't want to go into detail why because this post is not about it but it's taking a massive mental health toll on me. But my parents are extremely conservative and after I come out, if they don't disown me they definetely won't send financial help. If anything I believe they will do anything in their power to get me back to the hometown from the big bad liberal city. They might try to get out of cosigned rental as well but as long as it doesn't have a break clause I am hoping I'll be good.I want to reiterate i know i am not entitled to their money, I am glad to live in a tiny studio or further out from the center of the city, my parents just outright refuse to sign.The options I am seeing so far:- say fuck it and go live in tiny extremely overpriced accommodations with shady landlords that agree to take me without a cosignor- find some sort of short term rental that satisfies my parents (6 months?), delay my coming out, and move when the short term rental ends hoping the accommodated payment history will help me get a new place. Problems with that: (a) short term rentals are expensive, (b) moving is expensive, (c) idk how to explain to my parents why I am getting short term rental.Is there an option I am missing here?TL;DR: I need my parents to cosign my lease if I am to move. My parents don't want to cosign my lease unless I move into a place that satisfies them, i.e. is in a good area and quite spacious. Since I can't afford a place like that, they want to help me with the rent money, which they can easily afford. However, they'll 99% withdraw that support once they find out I am gay. How do I stealth my way through this situation?