I am a little unsure of how to proceed without seeming like a stage 5 clinger.

I'm 30, divorced for a little over a year, with a rich background of picking the wrong kind of partners. This time, I'm trying to do things differently. I have been ultra picky about what im lookong for, to avoid my past patterns and am looking for a dedicated long term relationship. But I have to say, dating at 30 is turning out to be much different than when I was younger.

In the past, it was hard to get physical affection from partners, and most of them tended to be very closed off when talking about marriage/kids/etc. I guess in a simple way I see it now, they were more into hookup culture even though we had established an exclusive relationship. In fact, they didn't really talk about much of any substance or have goals, and were more into social activities and drinking.

I'm seeing a new guy, only twice so far with plans for this weekend, and I honestly don't know what we're doing. New guy is the opposite of my past experiences. He has no problem having in depth conversations, I really enjoy talking to him. He briefly touched on kids and marriage right away, he's looking to settle down, he has long term goals. We share alot of values and views on things, which I find to be rare in today's world. He touches me throughout our meetings, hugging, arm around me or holding hands when walking/sitting, kissing whenever the mood strikes... I feel very romanced in person. When we're apart, we text a couple times throughout the day, but no lengthy conversations. Which is fine, but I worry that my busy schedule will lead to him loosing interests or finding someone else.

When I see him this weekend, I know the opportunity will be there to become more physical than we have so far. I'm very attracted to him and I like his personality, so that is not an issue. But I know that I get pretty emotionally attached to people once I move up the physical staircase, and I'd like to avoid that if he isn't seeing this as more than casually getting to know eachother.

To be clear, I'm not looking for the girlfriend title this soon, but as a protective measure, I would like to establish some sort of exclusivity before giving too much of myself.

-Is it too crazy to ask him if he's talking to/seeing anyone else this early?

-Is his behavior indicitive of someone who is going for a serious connection, or is it just as easily something that guys just looking for casual hook ups do?

Submitted November 14, 2019 at 12:09AM

I'm 30, divorced for a little over a year, with a rich background of picking the wrong kind of partners. This time, I'm trying to do things differently. I have been ultra picky about what im lookong for, to avoid my past patterns and am looking for a dedicated long term relationship. But I have to say, dating at 30 is turning out to be much different than when I was younger.In the past, it was hard to get physical affection from partners, and most of them tended to be very closed off when talking about marriage/kids/etc. I guess in a simple way I see it now, they were more into hookup culture even though we had established an exclusive relationship. In fact, they didn't really talk about much of any substance or have goals, and were more into social activities and drinking.I'm seeing a new guy, only twice so far with plans for this weekend, and I honestly don't know what we're doing. New guy is the opposite of my past experiences. He has no problem having in depth conversations, I really enjoy talking to him. He briefly touched on kids and marriage right away, he's looking to settle down, he has long term goals. We share alot of values and views on things, which I find to be rare in today's world. He touches me throughout our meetings, hugging, arm around me or holding hands when walking/sitting, kissing whenever the mood strikes... I feel very romanced in person. When we're apart, we text a couple times throughout the day, but no lengthy conversations. Which is fine, but I worry that my busy schedule will lead to him loosing interests or finding someone else.When I see him this weekend, I know the opportunity will be there to become more physical than we have so far. I'm very attracted to him and I like his personality, so that is not an issue. But I know that I get pretty emotionally attached to people once I move up the physical staircase, and I'd like to avoid that if he isn't seeing this as more than casually getting to know eachother.To be clear, I'm not looking for the girlfriend title this soon, but as a protective measure, I would like to establish some sort of exclusivity before giving too much of myself.-Is it too crazy to ask him if he's talking to/seeing anyone else this early?-Is his behavior indicitive of someone who is going for a serious connection, or is it just as easily something that guys just looking for casual hook ups do?