Under what circumstances would you try again with someone?

I (40F) dated a guy for a month. We got along incredibly well, like a couple of teenagers. It was fun! But I let my anxiety get the better of me (he has some issues with PTSD, not violent, but a bit of a checkered past). I decided to break it off over the phone, and cried the whole time. I liked him so much, but really worried about our respective mental health issues triggering each other. He was very understanding.

It’s been a month of sporadic messages since then. The other night, we ended up having an actual chat in which we both admitted to still having feelings for each other.

Part of me thinks I was right to end things, that he has too many issues, and I should stick to that decision and leave him alone.

Part of me also thinks this level of mutual attraction doesn’t come along every day, and that life is short. I ended things to prevent possible future problems for myself, without waiting to see if the actual problems even happened...and in doing so, denied myself some potentially amazing experiences.

I’m embarrasingly inexperienced with dating and relationships, but I’m starting to understand that heartbreak is sometimes the price of admission. I was in one prior relationship that didn’t end well, but I have no regrets...I learned a lot and had fun while it lasted.

I’ve been trying to be super honest with myself. The things I was afraid of are valid. But so are the feelings. If we were to meet again, I’d probably hug him and sob. I have missed him.

I know Reddit can’t make this decision for me. I also know that he may not want to take another chance on me, and I wouldn’t blame him. But any words of wisdom would be soooo appreciated! TIA.

Submitted October 06, 2019 at 11:56PM

I (40F) dated a guy for a month. We got along incredibly well, like a couple of teenagers. It was fun! But I let my anxiety get the better of me (he has some issues with PTSD, not violent, but a bit of a checkered past). I decided to break it off over the phone, and cried the whole time. I liked him so much, but really worried about our respective mental health issues triggering each other. He was very understanding.It’s been a month of sporadic messages since then. The other night, we ended up having an actual chat in which we both admitted to still having feelings for each other.Part of me thinks I was right to end things, that he has too many issues, and I should stick to that decision and leave him alone.Part of me also thinks this level of mutual attraction doesn’t come along every day, and that life is short. I ended things to prevent possible future problems for myself, without waiting to see if the actual problems even happened...and in doing so, denied myself some potentially amazing experiences.I’m embarrasingly inexperienced with dating and relationships, but I’m starting to understand that heartbreak is sometimes the price of admission. I was in one prior relationship that didn’t end well, but I have no regrets...I learned a lot and had fun while it lasted.I’ve been trying to be super honest with myself. The things I was afraid of are valid. But so are the feelings. If we were to meet again, I’d probably hug him and sob. I have missed him.I know Reddit can’t make this decision for me. I also know that he may not want to take another chance on me, and I wouldn’t blame him. But any words of wisdom would be soooo appreciated! TIA.