Ruining potential relationships + little dick story

(English is my second language I know it’s not written that well)

I’m a 23f.. I meet guys whenever I go out/social media and if it goes well I’ll give out my number. then eventually they ask to go on a date but I always send them off because I feel like they deserve someone better (but I also think I’m the best, how does that work? I have no idea) I have anxiety and I haven’t had sex in 3 years because I don’t feel confident with the body I have now.. I always feel like they deserve someone better than me, I’m tired of being lonely but I keep doing this to myself. If you look on my Instagram I look like such a confident girl but I’m not. I’m working out to fix my body insecurities, it’s not like I’m just sitting here complaining and not doing anything. My mental health isn’t getting better & I’ve had this problem for about 5 years, when am I going to feel good enough for someone? The other night I met this guy at the club and we really hit it off..started texting and he’s definitely my type.. but I keep sending him off because I’m too anxious to actually meet again... when he met me I was a little tipsy so my confidence was definitely there. But eventually i got over my anxiety and agreed to meet him at the club again & I took one of my girls friend with me.. he ended up not showing up because he said his friend didn’t pick him up ( his relative had borrowed his car so he didn’t have transportation) So since then he’s been asking me to hang out or go out to eat but I keep sending him off, why am I like this? I don’t know.

Funny story—I met this guy on social media 3 years ago ( the last time I had sex) we started talking and I decided this is it, I’m finally going to have sex and I’m not going to back out.. he was tall& sexy so I was excited..he would talk about giving amazing head so I was looking forward to meeting him. He picked me up and we talked, drank a little bit and he went down on me in the back seat of the car andddd it was horrible, he didn’t know was he was doing AT ALL. I told him I had to go home so he dropped me off. The next day I get a text from him wanting to hang out again.. he’s soooo sexy so I thought maybe the sex would be better. He picks me up and we go to a hotel, have a couple drinks and he didn’t even try to get me wet, just a couple kisses on my neck and he thought i was ready to go ( I know I could’ve said something but I didn’t) He then proceeds to unzip his pants and I couldn’t believe how fucking little his dick was, I was embarrassed for him And the funny thing is, when we first started talking I had asked him for a dick pic and he said “you’ll see it in person ;)” that reply was giving me big dick energy that’s why I went for it. So then he has the nerve to say “give me head” and I did ... LMAO it felt like I was sucking on a straw.. absolutely horrifying.. the only time I decide to finally have sex I get a guy with the smallest dick in the world, and the crazy thing is he has 4 kids.. like how ?? How did your babies mother have sex with you 4 times.

Submitted October 22, 2019 at 11:38PM

(English is my second language I know it’s not written that well)I’m a 23f.. I meet guys whenever I go out/social media and if it goes well I’ll give out my number. then eventually they ask to go on a date but I always send them off because I feel like they deserve someone better (but I also think I’m the best, how does that work? I have no idea) I have anxiety and I haven’t had sex in 3 years because I don’t feel confident with the body I have now.. I always feel like they deserve someone better than me, I’m tired of being lonely but I keep doing this to myself. If you look on my Instagram I look like such a confident girl but I’m not. I’m working out to fix my body insecurities, it’s not like I’m just sitting here complaining and not doing anything. My mental health isn’t getting better & I’ve had this problem for about 5 years, when am I going to feel good enough for someone? The other night I met this guy at the club and we really hit it off..started texting and he’s definitely my type.. but I keep sending him off because I’m too anxious to actually meet again... when he met me I was a little tipsy so my confidence was definitely there. But eventually i got over my anxiety and agreed to meet him at the club again & I took one of my girls friend with me.. he ended up not showing up because he said his friend didn’t pick him up ( his relative had borrowed his car so he didn’t have transportation) So since then he’s been asking me to hang out or go out to eat but I keep sending him off, why am I like this? I don’t know.Funny story—I met this guy on social media 3 years ago ( the last time I had sex) we started talking and I decided this is it, I’m finally going to have sex and I’m not going to back out.. he was tall& sexy so I was excited..he would talk about giving amazing head so I was looking forward to meeting him. He picked me up and we talked, drank a little bit and he went down on me in the back seat of the car andddd it was horrible, he didn’t know was he was doing AT ALL. I told him I had to go home so he dropped me off. The next day I get a text from him wanting to hang out again.. he’s soooo sexy so I thought maybe the sex would be better. He picks me up and we go to a hotel, have a couple drinks and he didn’t even try to get me wet, just a couple kisses on my neck and he thought i was ready to go ( I know I could’ve said something but I didn’t) He then proceeds to unzip his pants and I couldn’t believe how fucking little his dick was, I was embarrassed for him And the funny thing is, when we first started talking I had asked him for a dick pic and he said “you’ll see it in person ;)” that reply was giving me big dick energy that’s why I went for it. So then he has the nerve to say “give me head” and I did ... LMAO it felt like I was sucking on a straw.. absolutely horrifying.. the only time I decide to finally have sex I get a guy with the smallest dick in the world, and the crazy thing is he has 4 kids.. like how ?? How did your babies mother have sex with you 4 times.