He (26M) hasn’t asked me (23F) to be his girlfriend yet, but he came over for dinner to meet my parents and treats me like we’re in a relationship - why is this?

So the title really says it all - but here’s a bit of background: We’ve been seeing each other for 3 months now. It has been AMAZING - when I say this, I truly mean it - we’ve had no real conflict, we speak openly and honestly about how we’re feeling, we have an incredible sex life and most importantly, we make each other extremely happy. I feel like he is the perfect fit for me and I couldn’t be more thrilled.

He has expressed to me how he’d like to take things slow and not rush into anything too serious, too quick. He’s had two really bad experiences with girlfriends - his first girlfriend (high school sweetheart) cheated on him multiple times throughout their 4 year relationship, this left him heartbroken and he found it really hard to trust again. Skip to his second serious girlfriend, who moved states to be with him after 6 months of talking - he was hesitant to take this step as he didn’t think he felt strongly enough for her, however she insisted she wanted to move anyway and he was just an added benefit - he then spent 18 months trying to end things, however she emotionally and physically abused him/gaslighted him into staying with her as she had “moved her life for him”. He has told me he still feels a sense of guilt towards this and that because he doesn’t like hurting people, seeing her heartbroken was very hard for him.

I have tried to be really respectful of his boundaries and as such, have let him essentially take the lead this whole time. I’ve let the relationship naturally progress and encouraged him to take his time and space to ensure that every step feels right for him. He has been extremely grateful for this and always thanks me for being so understanding. We’ve had conversations about where we see our relationship heading and both of us feel like it has real potential to be something more.

Over the weekend he asked whether he could come to my house and meet my parents/brother. I was shocked that he wanted to take this step as I know he can be very shy and this would make him feel extremely nervous. I happily agreed and suggested he come over for dinner one night this week - he was extremely excited by this idea and called the next day to ask me what night would be best. This is the first time I’ve brought a boy home in this way - in the past, I’ve always had boyfriends pop in to introduce themselves quickly before we head out to dinner/movies etc, however, I felt like I wanted to make more of an effort for him to really get to know my parents better.

When he arrived, I could tell just how nervous he was and told him to just be himself. He bought my parents a bottle of wine and gave my mum a big kiss when he arrived - instantly I felt relieved, I knew she would love that and he’d made an instantly good first impression. He was extremely polite the whole night, always offering to help out or clean the dishes etc. Again, I could tell my mum really liked him. When he left he thanked me for letting him meet my family and told me they were so nice and he felt so comfortable around them and would love to spend more time at my home. He told me he’d really like for me to meet his parents soon and that he’s excited to meet my friends and start taking the next steps.

This is all fantastic and I truly am so happy, but I worry that taking these steps will scare him and make him feel like we are moving too fast. I don’t want him to feel as though I’m rushing him in anyway, however I would really love to take the next step and be his girlfriend - I just don’t know how to bring this up without freaking him out.

What is the best way to handle this, do I just keep being patient and let him take the lead?

TLDR; the guy I am seeing came to meet my parents last night, everything went extremely well. I’m ready to take the next step, but don’t know how to bring this up without freaking him out.

Submitted October 29, 2019 at 10:45PM

So the title really says it all - but here’s a bit of background: We’ve been seeing each other for 3 months now. It has been AMAZING - when I say this, I truly mean it - we’ve had no real conflict, we speak openly and honestly about how we’re feeling, we have an incredible sex life and most importantly, we make each other extremely happy. I feel like he is the perfect fit for me and I couldn’t be more thrilled.He has expressed to me how he’d like to take things slow and not rush into anything too serious, too quick. He’s had two really bad experiences with girlfriends - his first girlfriend (high school sweetheart) cheated on him multiple times throughout their 4 year relationship, this left him heartbroken and he found it really hard to trust again. Skip to his second serious girlfriend, who moved states to be with him after 6 months of talking - he was hesitant to take this step as he didn’t think he felt strongly enough for her, however she insisted she wanted to move anyway and he was just an added benefit - he then spent 18 months trying to end things, however she emotionally and physically abused him/gaslighted him into staying with her as she had “moved her life for him”. He has told me he still feels a sense of guilt towards this and that because he doesn’t like hurting people, seeing her heartbroken was very hard for him.I have tried to be really respectful of his boundaries and as such, have let him essentially take the lead this whole time. I’ve let the relationship naturally progress and encouraged him to take his time and space to ensure that every step feels right for him. He has been extremely grateful for this and always thanks me for being so understanding. We’ve had conversations about where we see our relationship heading and both of us feel like it has real potential to be something more.Over the weekend he asked whether he could come to my house and meet my parents/brother. I was shocked that he wanted to take this step as I know he can be very shy and this would make him feel extremely nervous. I happily agreed and suggested he come over for dinner one night this week - he was extremely excited by this idea and called the next day to ask me what night would be best. This is the first time I’ve brought a boy home in this way - in the past, I’ve always had boyfriends pop in to introduce themselves quickly before we head out to dinner/movies etc, however, I felt like I wanted to make more of an effort for him to really get to know my parents better.When he arrived, I could tell just how nervous he was and told him to just be himself. He bought my parents a bottle of wine and gave my mum a big kiss when he arrived - instantly I felt relieved, I knew she would love that and he’d made an instantly good first impression. He was extremely polite the whole night, always offering to help out or clean the dishes etc. Again, I could tell my mum really liked him. When he left he thanked me for letting him meet my family and told me they were so nice and he felt so comfortable around them and would love to spend more time at my home. He told me he’d really like for me to meet his parents soon and that he’s excited to meet my friends and start taking the next steps.This is all fantastic and I truly am so happy, but I worry that taking these steps will scare him and make him feel like we are moving too fast. I don’t want him to feel as though I’m rushing him in anyway, however I would really love to take the next step and be his girlfriend - I just don’t know how to bring this up without freaking him out.What is the best way to handle this, do I just keep being patient and let him take the lead?TLDR; the guy I am seeing came to meet my parents last night, everything went extremely well. I’m ready to take the next step, but don’t know how to bring this up without freaking him out.