I (F23) fell in love for the first time, it ended up being unrequited - what do I do?

We only dated for about 4 months, but it’s my longest experience yet, and it happened fast for me. I was falling for him (M22) already about a month in. He wasn’t feeling the same at the time, but I was okay with waiting, and we did all the things you do in a relationship, only without that label as he was uncomfortable with it. Lots of firsts for both him and me as we were both inexperienced, and lots of ups and downs, but I fell in love for the first time, with him.

About three weeks ago, he approached me, wanting to take a break. After we talked for a bit, I asked him straight up if he felt anything for me, which he said he did, but only a little, and he didn’t see himself ever developing any stronger feelings, nor did he see us together for real in the future. So it ended, because with him saying that, there was nothing for me to wait for. Even though I still wanted to. Still wanted him, of course.

And that’s the problem, I still do. It’s only been three weeks, and I know it’s not a very long time, and time heals all wounds, but. This hurts so bad. I think about him all the time. Still see him around as he works the shift after mine at our office. And I still want him. I’m still in love with him.

What do I do? The advice I want to ask is, how do I get him to love me? But I know we have no choice in love, and we can’t force it. So I guess, how do I move on?

TL;DR: Fell in love for the first time, he developed some feelings but not enough to want to be with me or ever see us together. It ended, but I’m still in love with him. What do I do?



Submitted August 25, 2019 at 11:54PM

We only dated for about 4 months, but it’s my longest experience yet, and it happened fast for me. I was falling for him (M22) already about a month in. He wasn’t feeling the same at the time, but I was okay with waiting, and we did all the things you do in a relationship, only without that label as he was uncomfortable with it. Lots of firsts for both him and me as we were both inexperienced, and lots of ups and downs, but I fell in love for the first time, with him.About three weeks ago, he approached me, wanting to take a break. After we talked for a bit, I asked him straight up if he felt anything for me, which he said he did, but only a little, and he didn’t see himself ever developing any stronger feelings, nor did he see us together for real in the future. So it ended, because with him saying that, there was nothing for me to wait for. Even though I still wanted to. Still wanted him, of course.And that’s the problem, I still do. It’s only been three weeks, and I know it’s not a very long time, and time heals all wounds, but. This hurts so bad. I think about him all the time. Still see him around as he works the shift after mine at our office. And I still want him. I’m still in love with him.What do I do? The advice I want to ask is, how do I get him to love me? But I know we have no choice in love, and we can’t force it. So I guess, how do I move on?TL;DR: Fell in love for the first time, he developed some feelings but not enough to want to be with me or ever see us together. It ended, but I’m still in love with him. What do I do?
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