Is he (30M) just not that into me (24F)?

Since I was a kid, my dad hammered it into my head that if a dude wants to hang out with me, he’ll make an effort to hang out with me. And if not, I should move on. Easy in theory, hard as shit in practice. It seems to apply here but I just want to get a second opinion before bolting.

I met this guy thru a mutual friend. Not interested romantically/sexually at first, but after hanging out a few times, we ended up developing a friendship over Snapchat. We currently have a pretty long streak (about 70 days of talking every day) which Snapchat keeps track of.

Somewhere along the way it became a bit more flirty/I got those... butterfly things when his name popped on my screen. He seemed really into the flirting and eventually about 2 weeks ago we ended up in his bed (no sex). Sexual tension was high the week after and every night we’d end up flirting/borderline sexting. Finally last night we sealed the deal. It was slightly awkward; I was too sober, and first times can be a bit awk. But overall good!! I spent the night and left early in the AM. He texted/snapped me a lot in the following few days but we hadn’t set up a time to meet again.

So I thought I’d drop a hint, feel it out. He told me he was a good cook and I said “you’ll have to prove it to me sometime,” to which he said “might have to be July lol, I’m about to get busy.”

To his credit, summer is insane for him with his job. And that’s fine with me. But if a guy doesn’t make an effort to see you once in 3 weeks and even tells you up front, that says a lot to me. And since he’s always chatting with me, I know that plenty of times he’s just hanging out alone or at a bar with mutual friends last minute plans. I figured I’d give one last shot, so I dropped another hint (I’m going to our mutual fave bar tonight!) and he swerved it again (literally didn’t reply).

But the chatting (on his end) continues. He even asked me the next day how the bar was! I’ve pulled back a lot in my responses. He seems unfazed. But I’m trying to read these signals and I just am not getting great replies. I don’t wanna pull a crazy and force a “are you into me?” Or “what are we?” This soon in. But I’m feeling let down. Truthfully, I’d rather be the one to walk away before i let myself fall hard and get stomped on again.

Thoughts?

Submitted June 20, 2019 at 12:14AM

Since I was a kid, my dad hammered it into my head that if a dude wants to hang out with me, he’ll make an effort to hang out with me. And if not, I should move on. Easy in theory, hard as shit in practice. It seems to apply here but I just want to get a second opinion before bolting.I met this guy thru a mutual friend. Not interested romantically/sexually at first, but after hanging out a few times, we ended up developing a friendship over Snapchat. We currently have a pretty long streak (about 70 days of talking every day) which Snapchat keeps track of.Somewhere along the way it became a bit more flirty/I got those... butterfly things when his name popped on my screen. He seemed really into the flirting and eventually about 2 weeks ago we ended up in his bed (no sex). Sexual tension was high the week after and every night we’d end up flirting/borderline sexting. Finally last night we sealed the deal. It was slightly awkward; I was too sober, and first times can be a bit awk. But overall good!! I spent the night and left early in the AM. He texted/snapped me a lot in the following few days but we hadn’t set up a time to meet again.So I thought I’d drop a hint, feel it out. He told me he was a good cook and I said “you’ll have to prove it to me sometime,” to which he said “might have to be July lol, I’m about to get busy.”To his credit, summer is insane for him with his job. And that’s fine with me. But if a guy doesn’t make an effort to see you once in 3 weeks and even tells you up front, that says a lot to me. And since he’s always chatting with me, I know that plenty of times he’s just hanging out alone or at a bar with mutual friends last minute plans. I figured I’d give one last shot, so I dropped another hint (I’m going to our mutual fave bar tonight!) and he swerved it again (literally didn’t reply).But the chatting (on his end) continues. He even asked me the next day how the bar was! I’ve pulled back a lot in my responses. He seems unfazed. But I’m trying to read these signals and I just am not getting great replies. I don’t wanna pull a crazy and force a “are you into me?” Or “what are we?” This soon in. But I’m feeling let down. Truthfully, I’d rather be the one to walk away before i let myself fall hard and get stomped on again.Thoughts?