Was he actually "too busy" in this instance?

So I've (26F) been dating this guy (26M) for 2 months now, and did for 1.5 months last year but I ended it over timing (sudden death in the family, work stress, insomnia issues). We text every day, super long messages talking about anything and everything, weekly calls, but there's over a 2 hour drive between us.

I work Monday to Friday in an office, 45 hour weeks, and he's part time working random hours including some weekends. He was sick for a week so they scheduled him a few weekends in a row, so we were on a date once 2 weeks back and once last year. We're both in the same friend group so I knew him already, and by our conversations, this was soon leading to a relationship. We click insanely well, amazing chemistry, loads in common, super attracted to each other, all that lovely stuff.

We were supposed to go on a day trip to a city, stay overnight, next week. He's been super busy outside of work, like help organising his friend's wedding, joining his brother's band recently over a fired member, all that. Today he told me between the distance, lack of free time (weekends) and just not knowing what he's doing with himself, he can't continue this "relationship" but basically wants everything we have now like talking regularly, calls, hang out, and felt horrible for ending it. I was taken aback because there was zero hint at this going from his texts this week (he thought about this just this week?), saying oh our long texts are a good sign, being all cutesy, and I don't know, I'm left confused. He told me February he couldn't stop thinking about me, he seemed more invested in this than me, was excited in eventually being official and boom, says this? Like yes, he's busy but also the distance doesn't help when he has any free time. I said the distance was annoying but I was willing to work around that. He said it isn't fair on me.

The band thing is a recent addition though, and it just seems like a hasty decision? I just feel very rejected right now, like I wasn't enough. I'm confused.

Submitted April 10, 2023 at 01:16AM

So I've (26F) been dating this guy (26M) for 2 months now, and did for 1.5 months last year but I ended it over timing (sudden death in the family, work stress, insomnia issues). We text every day, super long messages talking about anything and everything, weekly calls, but there's over a 2 hour drive between us.I work Monday to Friday in an office, 45 hour weeks, and he's part time working random hours including some weekends. He was sick for a week so they scheduled him a few weekends in a row, so we were on a date once 2 weeks back and once last year. We're both in the same friend group so I knew him already, and by our conversations, this was soon leading to a relationship. We click insanely well, amazing chemistry, loads in common, super attracted to each other, all that lovely stuff.We were supposed to go on a day trip to a city, stay overnight, next week. He's been super busy outside of work, like help organising his friend's wedding, joining his brother's band recently over a fired member, all that. Today he told me between the distance, lack of free time (weekends) and just not knowing what he's doing with himself, he can't continue this "relationship" but basically wants everything we have now like talking regularly, calls, hang out, and felt horrible for ending it. I was taken aback because there was zero hint at this going from his texts this week (he thought about this just this week?), saying oh our long texts are a good sign, being all cutesy, and I don't know, I'm left confused. He told me February he couldn't stop thinking about me, he seemed more invested in this than me, was excited in eventually being official and boom, says this? Like yes, he's busy but also the distance doesn't help when he has any free time. I said the distance was annoying but I was willing to work around that. He said it isn't fair on me.The band thing is a recent addition though, and it just seems like a hasty decision? I just feel very rejected right now, like I wasn't enough. I'm confused.