I am crushing on someone so hard it’s actually making me anxious and distracted

I (33F) have been seeing this guy for about 6-7 weeks. I’m in my mid thirties, generally a serial LTR person. Having been around the block now, while I do still get excited about people, I’m generally pretty good at compartmentalizing and keeping an even keel on the early honeymoon flood of endorphins.

I met this guy and we had an epic first date — one for the books. Shut the place down, made out in the car. We had a fun second date too, but during the second date, it became pretty clear that we had little in common in terms of interests. The sex was so so, but I find the first time it usually is as you’re getting to know each other, so there’s a learning curve, plus I’m pretty awkward about that with a new partner. Actually, as we parted after the second date, I thought we were probably aligned that while it was fun, we’d probably not be a match.

I was surprised when he hit me up like 5 days after that. It was out of mind for me, but because I had fun anyways, I agreed to go out again. Ever since, shit has really escalated. I feel like I’m in high school, wrapped up in my first crush. The sex has been amazing — reaching new highs and exploring new things. He’s pretty kinky and I have to pace him a bit but I think he sort of likes that dynamic and honestly, so do I.

Now, I’m so caught up in him it’s insane. I cannot stop thinking about him. It’s hard to concentrate on anything. I waver between feeling excited to suspicious to needy to horny.

I have reason to think he feels the same, he’s told me he’s not seeing anyone else, he talks about the future inclusively, he remembers everything I say. He goes above and beyond in dates, has said he’s really into it, last time I saw him, we were going to go out, but just went at it for like 3 hours when I got to his place. Then we ate dinner, then went back for more. It’s like a drug.

I’ve had this happen in my adult life once before about 5 years ago. I got absolutely crushed by the guy. I mean, I played a part too of course, but ultimately he ended it and it was painful. I think there’s parts of me that haven’t fully recovered. I am torn between leaning into it and putting space here to recollect my marbles. It hasn’t even been that long. Why am I being so immature about this? I am also acting jealous and needy, an unfortunate by product of being really really into someone.

Submitted April 10, 2023 at 12:12AM

I (33F) have been seeing this guy for about 6-7 weeks. I’m in my mid thirties, generally a serial LTR person. Having been around the block now, while I do still get excited about people, I’m generally pretty good at compartmentalizing and keeping an even keel on the early honeymoon flood of endorphins.I met this guy and we had an epic first date — one for the books. Shut the place down, made out in the car. We had a fun second date too, but during the second date, it became pretty clear that we had little in common in terms of interests. The sex was so so, but I find the first time it usually is as you’re getting to know each other, so there’s a learning curve, plus I’m pretty awkward about that with a new partner. Actually, as we parted after the second date, I thought we were probably aligned that while it was fun, we’d probably not be a match.I was surprised when he hit me up like 5 days after that. It was out of mind for me, but because I had fun anyways, I agreed to go out again. Ever since, shit has really escalated. I feel like I’m in high school, wrapped up in my first crush. The sex has been amazing — reaching new highs and exploring new things. He’s pretty kinky and I have to pace him a bit but I think he sort of likes that dynamic and honestly, so do I.Now, I’m so caught up in him it’s insane. I cannot stop thinking about him. It’s hard to concentrate on anything. I waver between feeling excited to suspicious to needy to horny.I have reason to think he feels the same, he’s told me he’s not seeing anyone else, he talks about the future inclusively, he remembers everything I say. He goes above and beyond in dates, has said he’s really into it, last time I saw him, we were going to go out, but just went at it for like 3 hours when I got to his place. Then we ate dinner, then went back for more. It’s like a drug.I’ve had this happen in my adult life once before about 5 years ago. I got absolutely crushed by the guy. I mean, I played a part too of course, but ultimately he ended it and it was painful. I think there’s parts of me that haven’t fully recovered. I am torn between leaning into it and putting space here to recollect my marbles. It hasn’t even been that long. Why am I being so immature about this? I am also acting jealous and needy, an unfortunate by product of being really really into someone.