Conflicting crush on a classmate.

I (20F) have a crush on my (22NB) classmate but I’m really conflicted on how to proceed. We sit right next to each other and at first I thought they were cute, but I wasn’t romantically interested until I started noticing behaviors that I interpreted as romantic interest. Some examples are mirroring body language, subtly watching to see if I needed to borrow a writing device, offering notes when I was talking to someone else about not having them, only joining discussion groups I’m a part of in class, asking to exchange writing pieces because we’re both writers, rushing to catch up to me after class on multiple occasions, waiting by the door to say bye to me after class, being willing to talk for a while after class when I ask and some other stuff. I’ve reciprocated interest as well by giving them compliments and again asking to talk with them after class, but I’m an awkward person and it’s hard for me to make eye contact and initiate when I like someone. I’m also new to dating and what may seem like romantic interest to me might just be friendliness.

The issue is they’re a bad texter and their texting behavior pretty much contradicts the energy I’m getting in real life. In real life they seem to be excited for conversation even though we’re both quiet, but over text they go hours and sometimes days without texting me back. We’re both young college students, but I think this is abnormal behavior if you’re interested in someone and only see them a few times a week.

We’ve talked about how they like watching films so I invited them to a screening where there would be a Q&A with the director afterwards and they told me they think they’ll be busy that day followed up with a “we should hang out some other time.” I accepted it and we continue our text conversation, but the next day they don’t text me at all and eventually just replied to my question with “Hey I thought I responded to this.” We had class that day and were even part of the same discussion group and I noticed they have a habit of making sure to text back if they know they’re going to see me in class, but they didn’t do that this time.

This situation is difficult for me because even though I would like to keep them as a friend, I know I’m not emotionally mature enough to just remain friends when I’ve already developed a crush on them. It’s also complex because they’re non-binary so there’s no gendered script to follow. Am I over reacting? Should I continue to see how this goes over the course of the semester or should I just take a hint and move on?

Submitted February 25, 2023 at 01:03AM

I (20F) have a crush on my (22NB) classmate but I’m really conflicted on how to proceed. We sit right next to each other and at first I thought they were cute, but I wasn’t romantically interested until I started noticing behaviors that I interpreted as romantic interest. Some examples are mirroring body language, subtly watching to see if I needed to borrow a writing device, offering notes when I was talking to someone else about not having them, only joining discussion groups I’m a part of in class, asking to exchange writing pieces because we’re both writers, rushing to catch up to me after class on multiple occasions, waiting by the door to say bye to me after class, being willing to talk for a while after class when I ask and some other stuff. I’ve reciprocated interest as well by giving them compliments and again asking to talk with them after class, but I’m an awkward person and it’s hard for me to make eye contact and initiate when I like someone. I’m also new to dating and what may seem like romantic interest to me might just be friendliness.The issue is they’re a bad texter and their texting behavior pretty much contradicts the energy I’m getting in real life. In real life they seem to be excited for conversation even though we’re both quiet, but over text they go hours and sometimes days without texting me back. We’re both young college students, but I think this is abnormal behavior if you’re interested in someone and only see them a few times a week.We’ve talked about how they like watching films so I invited them to a screening where there would be a Q&A with the director afterwards and they told me they think they’ll be busy that day followed up with a “we should hang out some other time.” I accepted it and we continue our text conversation, but the next day they don’t text me at all and eventually just replied to my question with “Hey I thought I responded to this.” We had class that day and were even part of the same discussion group and I noticed they have a habit of making sure to text back if they know they’re going to see me in class, but they didn’t do that this time.This situation is difficult for me because even though I would like to keep them as a friend, I know I’m not emotionally mature enough to just remain friends when I’ve already developed a crush on them. It’s also complex because they’re non-binary so there’s no gendered script to follow. Am I over reacting? Should I continue to see how this goes over the course of the semester or should I just take a hint and move on?