I’m definitely going to die alone.

I’m a guy, 29 years old. I’m 5’8 and I am not in horrible shape, nothing 4 solid months of clean eating and exercise wouldn’t fix. I make 60k a year, I live in a very modern apartment complex with my dog. For lack of a better way to say this next part without sounding pretentious, I’m also very attractive in the face. I often get compliments from strangers saying I look like celebrities like (young Tom cruise, young Emilio Estivez,) blah blah blah.

From the outside looking in, people might find it a bit odd that I am single. People who don’t really know me that is. My friends know that I have less than zero percent confidence. Let me explain why.

I had a girlfriend one time in high school… but that was 12 years ago. She was hands down the best looking girl at our school, but she only dated me cuz we grew up in a small town of 800 people and there were only 80 kids in our high school. Myself and ten others where athletes so I hung out with “the popular kids” if that’s even a thing… any ways, In high school I was really outgoing and nice, I wasn’t very smart but I tried my best. People liked me cuz I made them laugh and that made me feel good!

Fast forward my then gf and I split up after a nasty argument at 18. Mostly my fault for being immature really. Haven’t seen her since and she hates me. As I’ve got older it’s as if women developed some new set of standards or something. I’ve cold approached tons over the years but only manage to pull off a one night stand every now and again. About 3 times a year I’d say. 90% of the time I am met with harsh rejection or flat out am ignored or lied to when I approach a girl. It’s beginning to feel like an uphill battle with no end in sight.

It’s made me bitter and not as friendly. I no longer think positively about myself and I stopped exercising because of the depression. I’m so painfully alone. I don’t have much family and I have almost no friends… because of this I drink myself to sleep a lot and I just feel like there’s so much wrong with me. I used to think I was an ok guy… but now I’m wondering if I peaked in H.S.

I’m now at a point that I’m too scared to talk to women any more. For fear of rejection. Last night I was at the bar that is downstairs in my apartment complex and I saw a gorgeous woman and her friend, we made eye contact and she came and sat next to me… I just froze. I got so in my head that I just pretended I didn’t see her there till she walked away.

At this point I feel like rejecting myself feels better than letting someone else do it and idk how I got here and I don’t know if I can get back to a place where I love myself again.

Submitted January 14, 2023 at 01:11AM

I’m a guy, 29 years old. I’m 5’8 and I am not in horrible shape, nothing 4 solid months of clean eating and exercise wouldn’t fix. I make 60k a year, I live in a very modern apartment complex with my dog. For lack of a better way to say this next part without sounding pretentious, I’m also very attractive in the face. I often get compliments from strangers saying I look like celebrities like (young Tom cruise, young Emilio Estivez,) blah blah blah.From the outside looking in, people might find it a bit odd that I am single. People who don’t really know me that is. My friends know that I have less than zero percent confidence. Let me explain why.I had a girlfriend one time in high school… but that was 12 years ago. She was hands down the best looking girl at our school, but she only dated me cuz we grew up in a small town of 800 people and there were only 80 kids in our high school. Myself and ten others where athletes so I hung out with “the popular kids” if that’s even a thing… any ways, In high school I was really outgoing and nice, I wasn’t very smart but I tried my best. People liked me cuz I made them laugh and that made me feel good!Fast forward my then gf and I split up after a nasty argument at 18. Mostly my fault for being immature really. Haven’t seen her since and she hates me. As I’ve got older it’s as if women developed some new set of standards or something. I’ve cold approached tons over the years but only manage to pull off a one night stand every now and again. About 3 times a year I’d say. 90% of the time I am met with harsh rejection or flat out am ignored or lied to when I approach a girl. It’s beginning to feel like an uphill battle with no end in sight.It’s made me bitter and not as friendly. I no longer think positively about myself and I stopped exercising because of the depression. I’m so painfully alone. I don’t have much family and I have almost no friends… because of this I drink myself to sleep a lot and I just feel like there’s so much wrong with me. I used to think I was an ok guy… but now I’m wondering if I peaked in H.S.I’m now at a point that I’m too scared to talk to women any more. For fear of rejection. Last night I was at the bar that is downstairs in my apartment complex and I saw a gorgeous woman and her friend, we made eye contact and she came and sat next to me… I just froze. I got so in my head that I just pretended I didn’t see her there till she walked away.At this point I feel like rejecting myself feels better than letting someone else do it and idk how I got here and I don’t know if I can get back to a place where I love myself again.