/u/shapeshifterhedgehog on Pap smears and asexuality
I was terrified for my first pap smear too. When finding a doctor I kinda went by gender honestly, the clinics I could afford had mostly male obgyns and I know gender doesn't affect your skill in the profession but for my own peace of mind and who I was comfortable with seeing my body, I chose a doctor who was a woman. So like even if it doesn't seem like there's a rational reason for who you choose, sometimes it's helpful to still choose someone who's first impression gives you peace of mind.
Doctors shouldn't do anything you're not comfortable with so if they're not checking in and making sure you're comfortable, it might be good to just tell them you wouldn't be comfortable with that today and then just see what you can do to leave and schedule with someone else. Also if they're not being very respectful about your sex life that is also bad vibes. If they pass the vibe check tell them you're really nervous and if they're good they'll be understanding and go slow.
The doctor I chose could have been better about my anxiety but she did do some things for it that were really helpful. She explained to me the procedures and how they worked and she let me feel the brush for the pap smear before inserting it. Her assistant kept me talking while she did the test and that helped too.
Also one reason I was so nervous was because of all the horror stories out there. I don't doubt that a lot of those stories are true, but if you're really anxious like me then it might be good to take those stories with a grain of salt. Take the necessary precautions, don't force yourself to do anything you're not comfortable with, and from there things should hopefully go much more smoothly. I had heard from a lot of people that pap smears hurt really bad so I was really afraid of that pain, but when they did it I felt no pain, and I wasn't on anything to help with that either. I also had never had penetrative sex at that time and TMI, but >! I really wasn't used to having anything in there besides a tampon, and I'm really sensitive to pain there.!<
November 02, 2022 at 12:29AM
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