I met this really cool guy that I like but something stops me

Hello,

So I (28F) met this French guy (25M) at the strip club I work. He comes often to my country due to business and he was with a big group of friends. He was not a big spender took like 2 dances and then left. We exchanged contacts and then he came a second time and asked me to go out the night after. I almost always avoid going out with people I meet at work but this time I felt some connection and so I went out with him. We went on 2 dates and he was always super polite and really interesting as a personality, he had so many things to talk about and would open up a lot sharing many personal things about himself, family, work and past relationships. We seem to have a really good chemistry and a good intellectual connection which is sometimes rare for me to find. At times I meet men I like but the conversation doesn't flow well or gets boring. He was very exciting as a personality.

I do like him quite a lot , he asked me both times if I wanna come to his place afterwards but I avoided both times, because I wanna see first if we are a good fit in other levels like communication, values, expectations. Many times that I rushed things I realized that it was mostly physical attraction but we were not so mentally/intellectually connected and it can feel weird afterwards. Or when I had sex for the wrong reasons made me feel sad and empty afterwards , so this time I wanted to avoid this feelings and really get to know this guy first. I feel comfortable being arround him but I feel hesitant because he will always compliment me, or saying to me he is crazy about me or he is falling in love but I feel is way too soon. I dont know if this is really love bombing or some way to have sex with me , but the last time I trusted someone saying nice things super fast I ended up hurt in the end. So this time I wanna be very careful. I also broke up 1 month ago and I dont feel yet that I'm 100% over of this person, he snaps me daily and I still have some nostalgia about him , even though I know probably its best for both to move on since we live so far and for other reasons, but I still have some feelings about him and a part of my heart still loves him in a way like I will always care about him. But I wanna move on as well. Just not sure what this guy now wants out of me . I feel uncomfortable sometimes getting affectionate with him or holding hands, he likes doing these things.

He will stay 1 month in my country but he told me that he comes often and also expressed that he would like to plan trips together or come with him when he goes on business trips . I prefer to just postpone the sex for awhile and wait probably other 2-3 dates , but I dont want to make him think that I'm not attracted to him or something. I just don't want to regret it or feel empty/sad afterwards, wanna really feel like doing it. Also i would like to know his intentions because from my experience at the moment a man knows I'm a stripper they start to behave differently, like my ex did. This guy seems ok with this, but yet I dont know what he wants out of me, maybe he is just about the sex . I can't tell.

Any ideas? Is it worth try out with this guy? How can I clarify his intentions and what he wants out of me ?

Submitted July 07, 2022 at 12:03AM

Hello,So I (28F) met this French guy (25M) at the strip club I work. He comes often to my country due to business and he was with a big group of friends. He was not a big spender took like 2 dances and then left. We exchanged contacts and then he came a second time and asked me to go out the night after. I almost always avoid going out with people I meet at work but this time I felt some connection and so I went out with him. We went on 2 dates and he was always super polite and really interesting as a personality, he had so many things to talk about and would open up a lot sharing many personal things about himself, family, work and past relationships. We seem to have a really good chemistry and a good intellectual connection which is sometimes rare for me to find. At times I meet men I like but the conversation doesn't flow well or gets boring. He was very exciting as a personality.I do like him quite a lot , he asked me both times if I wanna come to his place afterwards but I avoided both times, because I wanna see first if we are a good fit in other levels like communication, values, expectations. Many times that I rushed things I realized that it was mostly physical attraction but we were not so mentally/intellectually connected and it can feel weird afterwards. Or when I had sex for the wrong reasons made me feel sad and empty afterwards , so this time I wanted to avoid this feelings and really get to know this guy first. I feel comfortable being arround him but I feel hesitant because he will always compliment me, or saying to me he is crazy about me or he is falling in love but I feel is way too soon. I dont know if this is really love bombing or some way to have sex with me , but the last time I trusted someone saying nice things super fast I ended up hurt in the end. So this time I wanna be very careful. I also broke up 1 month ago and I dont feel yet that I'm 100% over of this person, he snaps me daily and I still have some nostalgia about him , even though I know probably its best for both to move on since we live so far and for other reasons, but I still have some feelings about him and a part of my heart still loves him in a way like I will always care about him. But I wanna move on as well. Just not sure what this guy now wants out of me . I feel uncomfortable sometimes getting affectionate with him or holding hands, he likes doing these things.He will stay 1 month in my country but he told me that he comes often and also expressed that he would like to plan trips together or come with him when he goes on business trips . I prefer to just postpone the sex for awhile and wait probably other 2-3 dates , but I dont want to make him think that I'm not attracted to him or something. I just don't want to regret it or feel empty/sad afterwards, wanna really feel like doing it. Also i would like to know his intentions because from my experience at the moment a man knows I'm a stripper they start to behave differently, like my ex did. This guy seems ok with this, but yet I dont know what he wants out of me, maybe he is just about the sex . I can't tell.Any ideas? Is it worth try out with this guy? How can I clarify his intentions and what he wants out of me ?