What Should I Do?

Hi, so about 2 years ago I met this girl online. Well more like I saw her Instagram handle on her profile on an app and dmed her. She replied that night and we got into chatting. Got her snapchat and for the next 6 hours we texted nonstop. Mind you she first dmed me back around 11pm. Over the course of the time we would text nonstop and I don't always have to text first. It is like our vibe or "energy" matched. She doesn't want a relationship at the time, but I did.. She comes over the first time. We skate over to the nearby Target and I buy shampoo for my newly dyed hair and she's sitting in the shopping cart as I push her. We skate back and get food at the nearby restaurant and talk about life. We take it back to my place and eat it. Before she leaves, she lets me kiss her. Afterwards as I said we still constantly text and snap and sometimes video chat like it seems so great. Second time she comes over, she is dying my hair for me. We lay stomach-down on the bed watching Bird Box. Our arms are intertwined. I order food from DoorDash to eat here. After we eat, we have intercourse and she needs to get home before her Mom. I'm taking a shower to clean up and kisses me goodbye as she goes home. We still continue to talk everyday, but not as often. I became more "simpy" as you could say and there would be days we would have small arguments about me doing too much. I did not own a car so I never went over to where she lived even though she expressed in wanting me to do so. By this time, we still text everyday but not as frequent. She stopped using her snapchat, deleted her Instagram and we kind of fall off. I go on a first date with this girl and that is basically the last time we talk. Me telling her I am on this first date. We never speak again. The girl I go on that date with, we date for the next 1.75 years (we broke up last week). Throughout the relationship I would think of her but not too much of it and I deleted her existence from my phone basically. One time during my relationship I dm her close guy friends how she is doing and he says she's doing well. I know she has deleted her socials. Back to now. The night before I have my graduation ceremony for college (May 6th) I lay in bed thinking about her and for fun type her first name on Instagram. I found an account which I'm 99% sure is her. It is private so I request and the next day send a dm which says "Hey [NAME] its Ian You clearly remember me. First off I want to apologize about that entire time we were friends almost two years ago. I was such an overemotional simp. I regret asking of you always and never flipping that effort to travel to [Her Hometown] for example. I'd like to talk and text with you like how we used to. We talked everyday almost every hour. This time no flirting or BS. Straight true friendship. I'm asking for that to prove I'm not the same as I was." She also has a twitter that I found with the same Instagram handle where she just posts thoughts or retweets stuff. There is always that one girl in your life you would drop anything for and she is that girl to me. I come to reddit asking if I should give up and try to move on. She isn't active on Instagram I don't think, so I think messaging her on twitter where I know she's active would be the better idea. Any Ideas?

Submitted May 12, 2022 at 12:15AM

Hi, so about 2 years ago I met this girl online. Well more like I saw her Instagram handle on her profile on an app and dmed her. She replied that night and we got into chatting. Got her snapchat and for the next 6 hours we texted nonstop. Mind you she first dmed me back around 11pm. Over the course of the time we would text nonstop and I don't always have to text first. It is like our vibe or "energy" matched. She doesn't want a relationship at the time, but I did.. She comes over the first time. We skate over to the nearby Target and I buy shampoo for my newly dyed hair and she's sitting in the shopping cart as I push her. We skate back and get food at the nearby restaurant and talk about life. We take it back to my place and eat it. Before she leaves, she lets me kiss her. Afterwards as I said we still constantly text and snap and sometimes video chat like it seems so great. Second time she comes over, she is dying my hair for me. We lay stomach-down on the bed watching Bird Box. Our arms are intertwined. I order food from DoorDash to eat here. After we eat, we have intercourse and she needs to get home before her Mom. I'm taking a shower to clean up and kisses me goodbye as she goes home. We still continue to talk everyday, but not as often. I became more "simpy" as you could say and there would be days we would have small arguments about me doing too much. I did not own a car so I never went over to where she lived even though she expressed in wanting me to do so. By this time, we still text everyday but not as frequent. She stopped using her snapchat, deleted her Instagram and we kind of fall off. I go on a first date with this girl and that is basically the last time we talk. Me telling her I am on this first date. We never speak again. The girl I go on that date with, we date for the next 1.75 years (we broke up last week). Throughout the relationship I would think of her but not too much of it and I deleted her existence from my phone basically. One time during my relationship I dm her close guy friends how she is doing and he says she's doing well. I know she has deleted her socials. Back to now. The night before I have my graduation ceremony for college (May 6th) I lay in bed thinking about her and for fun type her first name on Instagram. I found an account which I'm 99% sure is her. It is private so I request and the next day send a dm which says "Hey [NAME] its Ian You clearly remember me. First off I want to apologize about that entire time we were friends almost two years ago. I was such an overemotional simp. I regret asking of you always and never flipping that effort to travel to [Her Hometown] for example. I'd like to talk and text with you like how we used to. We talked everyday almost every hour. This time no flirting or BS. Straight true friendship. I'm asking for that to prove I'm not the same as I was." She also has a twitter that I found with the same Instagram handle where she just posts thoughts or retweets stuff. There is always that one girl in your life you would drop anything for and she is that girl to me. I come to reddit asking if I should give up and try to move on. She isn't active on Instagram I don't think, so I think messaging her on twitter where I know she's active would be the better idea. Any Ideas?