I am the “new woman” in his life and I feel so inadequate

A month ago, I started dating a new guy after getting out of a nine year relationship. I don’t have kids and have never dated someone with kids. I met a guy online and we seriously hit it off immediately! He is 6 years older than me and he has two kids (3 & 6), and he lives an hour away from me and he’s at the tail end of a divorce. He was everything I was missing. Our first date was amazing… picnic by the river, serenading me with his guitar, and dancing with my unexpectedly in his living room. I was swept off my feet right away. A week into us dating, his ex showed up at his apartment with the boys, and said, “I had something come up and I need you to take them.” I was sitting there… anxious as all hell because what do I do? Just look at the boys and be like okkkk you don’t know me but I have to go…? So I stayed and met them. It was overwhelming, but it was good! I definitely overthought it! So most weekends I’ve been staying here with him. He has the kids every other weekend and he is also preparing for the end of his divorce so preparing for court. Today was the first day… when his kids are around and I guess even when they aren’t, I just feel so inadequate with the divorce and the kids and the ‘family’ I’m walking into that is already ‘built.’ I know that obviously kids come first.. I totally get that and understand that! He’s a dad first.. but it’s hard to know where I stand.. he hasn’t been as touchy feely with me since the first time we met in person and I struggle because his love language is physical touch. Idk maybe I’m overthinking it all… but man I feel so out of place and inadequate for sure. I know that after the divorce is final and over with fully, I’ll be able to hopefully see a side of him I have yet.. because obviously he’s been distracted.. idk please be nice in all of this and give me some advice



Submitted May 28, 2022 at 01:01AM

A month ago, I started dating a new guy after getting out of a nine year relationship. I don’t have kids and have never dated someone with kids. I met a guy online and we seriously hit it off immediately! He is 6 years older than me and he has two kids (3 & 6), and he lives an hour away from me and he’s at the tail end of a divorce. He was everything I was missing. Our first date was amazing… picnic by the river, serenading me with his guitar, and dancing with my unexpectedly in his living room. I was swept off my feet right away. A week into us dating, his ex showed up at his apartment with the boys, and said, “I had something come up and I need you to take them.” I was sitting there… anxious as all hell because what do I do? Just look at the boys and be like okkkk you don’t know me but I have to go…? So I stayed and met them. It was overwhelming, but it was good! I definitely overthought it! So most weekends I’ve been staying here with him. He has the kids every other weekend and he is also preparing for the end of his divorce so preparing for court. Today was the first day… when his kids are around and I guess even when they aren’t, I just feel so inadequate with the divorce and the kids and the ‘family’ I’m walking into that is already ‘built.’ I know that obviously kids come first.. I totally get that and understand that! He’s a dad first.. but it’s hard to know where I stand.. he hasn’t been as touchy feely with me since the first time we met in person and I struggle because his love language is physical touch. Idk maybe I’m overthinking it all… but man I feel so out of place and inadequate for sure. I know that after the divorce is final and over with fully, I’ll be able to hopefully see a side of him I have yet.. because obviously he’s been distracted.. idk please be nice in all of this and give me some advice
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Add Comments, Posts, Links... etc.

Popular posts from this blog

The difference between being right and being understood

My boyfriend and I are 28. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years and recently moved in together. He’s a pretty patient and easygoing person (Type B) whereas I’m more particular (Type A). Of course there are two sides to every trait, and my Type A nature benefits us in some ways too. Like all couples, we have differences in perspective or preference. When this happens, he will usually say something like “I disagree (with your perspective) but fine.” I tend to push the issue in an attempt to get him to understand where I’m coming from. This escalates the disagreement into a fight because he perceives it as me trying to be “right”. I truly just want to be understood (and I want to understand where he’s coming from) so I’m looking for more of a dialogue whereas he avoids conflict and just wants it to be over as quickly as possible. His general approach is “agree to disagree” but that doesn’t make sense to me when it’s an issue that will keep coming up and requires compromise. I’m n...
Read more

My (27f) gf (27f) is getting tired of me not sharing intimate/ personal info about me

I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love with her, however I can not seem to open up... and I can tell it’s frustrating to her by the way she tells me it bothers her that she feels she’s the only one committed and the one that’s always sharing... At this point I don’t even know if it is that I’ve gotten too used to it, to the point I’ve became lazy to talk about myself or give any genuine personal opinion... it sucks, really, I need to communicate better... Where do I start? Tl;dr: I can’t be completely intimate with my gf and its frustrating her, I need to communicate better because I really love her... where to start? Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:02AM I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love ...
Read more

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) relationship is confusing to me. I might be the problem, or maybe we are just incompatible.

I met my girlfriend after a few serious breakups that led me to change both intentionally and unintentionally over a few years. For better and for worse. She had just gotten out of an engagement with a verbally and physically abusive man who had a cocaine problem. We have been together about 8 months now. We hit it off and spent a lot of time together but she began to push our relationship as if there were a time clock for milestones. I was pressed beyond my comfort zone and went with it because of my affection for her. My living situation fell apart and I lost a few thousand dollars to shit roommates right around the time she and I met and she offered to let me stay with her. I agreed with some resistance. I pay for food, help her with bills, and throw money toward rent while trying to get back on my feet. As long as we have been together she has gotten more possessive, angry, and irrational. She is dealing with shit from her engagement and I feel shes looking for a level of seriou...
Read more