I am the “new woman” in his life and I feel so inadequate

A month ago, I started dating a new guy after getting out of a nine year relationship. I don’t have kids and have never dated someone with kids. I met a guy online and we seriously hit it off immediately! He is 6 years older than me and he has two kids (3 & 6), and he lives an hour away from me and he’s at the tail end of a divorce. He was everything I was missing. Our first date was amazing… picnic by the river, serenading me with his guitar, and dancing with my unexpectedly in his living room. I was swept off my feet right away. A week into us dating, his ex showed up at his apartment with the boys, and said, “I had something come up and I need you to take them.” I was sitting there… anxious as all hell because what do I do? Just look at the boys and be like okkkk you don’t know me but I have to go…? So I stayed and met them. It was overwhelming, but it was good! I definitely overthought it! So most weekends I’ve been staying here with him. He has the kids every other weekend and he is also preparing for the end of his divorce so preparing for court. Today was the first day… when his kids are around and I guess even when they aren’t, I just feel so inadequate with the divorce and the kids and the ‘family’ I’m walking into that is already ‘built.’ I know that obviously kids come first.. I totally get that and understand that! He’s a dad first.. but it’s hard to know where I stand.. he hasn’t been as touchy feely with me since the first time we met in person and I struggle because his love language is physical touch. Idk maybe I’m overthinking it all… but man I feel so out of place and inadequate for sure. I know that after the divorce is final and over with fully, I’ll be able to hopefully see a side of him I have yet.. because obviously he’s been distracted.. idk please be nice in all of this and give me some advice



Submitted May 28, 2022 at 01:01AM

A month ago, I started dating a new guy after getting out of a nine year relationship. I don’t have kids and have never dated someone with kids. I met a guy online and we seriously hit it off immediately! He is 6 years older than me and he has two kids (3 & 6), and he lives an hour away from me and he’s at the tail end of a divorce. He was everything I was missing. Our first date was amazing… picnic by the river, serenading me with his guitar, and dancing with my unexpectedly in his living room. I was swept off my feet right away. A week into us dating, his ex showed up at his apartment with the boys, and said, “I had something come up and I need you to take them.” I was sitting there… anxious as all hell because what do I do? Just look at the boys and be like okkkk you don’t know me but I have to go…? So I stayed and met them. It was overwhelming, but it was good! I definitely overthought it! So most weekends I’ve been staying here with him. He has the kids every other weekend and he is also preparing for the end of his divorce so preparing for court. Today was the first day… when his kids are around and I guess even when they aren’t, I just feel so inadequate with the divorce and the kids and the ‘family’ I’m walking into that is already ‘built.’ I know that obviously kids come first.. I totally get that and understand that! He’s a dad first.. but it’s hard to know where I stand.. he hasn’t been as touchy feely with me since the first time we met in person and I struggle because his love language is physical touch. Idk maybe I’m overthinking it all… but man I feel so out of place and inadequate for sure. I know that after the divorce is final and over with fully, I’ll be able to hopefully see a side of him I have yet.. because obviously he’s been distracted.. idk please be nice in all of this and give me some advice
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