Early 20s losing all hope for dating and that's hurting my life in most other aspects

So I'm in my early 20s (M) and never had a relationship, dated, had sex, anything other than kiss and cuddle just one time when I was 18.

I've been told I'm good looking. I'm fit, I play guitar, passionate about music and art, I can cook, take care of myself and my apartment perfectly fine, I have some medical problems that I deal with myself, you get the idea. Most people are very surprised or often don't believe me when I tell them about my lack of experience.

-----Don't read past this if you don't want to it's mostly a rant

I was kinda one of the popular kids back in middle and high school and more so in college. Both me and my brother were quite well known in high school and we partied/did drugs etc. He could get plenty of girls while I never could. In college I smoked a lot of weed, partied a lot, made a lot of acquaintances but only a couple friends. Girls fairly frequently (for my standards) would talk to me in college but it always felt like they would come on to me like they were testing me or something and then if I disappointed (which I did everytime and I usually couldn't tell how) the attitude would switch from all receptive and flirty to just dry and get-the-fuck-away-from-me vibes and that killed me a little bit inside every time I felt it. I was pretty depressed in college mostly for this reason.

Nowadays my inability to get even a date despite being decently articulate albeit honest is eating away at my mind. I can't get it out of my head because I desire some intimacy so much. I live far from any family so I never get hugged or touched in any way nor do I regularly have someone to talk to and usually never in real life anymore. I attempted suicide after getting rejected again back in March. Weed doesn't let me take my mind off it like it used to so I smoke it all throughout the day but still feel extremely depressed and unable to take my mind off things. I don't know what's wrong with me from the perspective of females other than I'm more on the quiet and serious side.



Submitted May 28, 2022 at 01:00AM

So I'm in my early 20s (M) and never had a relationship, dated, had sex, anything other than kiss and cuddle just one time when I was 18.I've been told I'm good looking. I'm fit, I play guitar, passionate about music and art, I can cook, take care of myself and my apartment perfectly fine, I have some medical problems that I deal with myself, you get the idea. Most people are very surprised or often don't believe me when I tell them about my lack of experience.-----Don't read past this if you don't want to it's mostly a rantI was kinda one of the popular kids back in middle and high school and more so in college. Both me and my brother were quite well known in high school and we partied/did drugs etc. He could get plenty of girls while I never could. In college I smoked a lot of weed, partied a lot, made a lot of acquaintances but only a couple friends. Girls fairly frequently (for my standards) would talk to me in college but it always felt like they would come on to me like they were testing me or something and then if I disappointed (which I did everytime and I usually couldn't tell how) the attitude would switch from all receptive and flirty to just dry and get-the-fuck-away-from-me vibes and that killed me a little bit inside every time I felt it. I was pretty depressed in college mostly for this reason.Nowadays my inability to get even a date despite being decently articulate albeit honest is eating away at my mind. I can't get it out of my head because I desire some intimacy so much. I live far from any family so I never get hugged or touched in any way nor do I regularly have someone to talk to and usually never in real life anymore. I attempted suicide after getting rejected again back in March. Weed doesn't let me take my mind off it like it used to so I smoke it all throughout the day but still feel extremely depressed and unable to take my mind off things. I don't know what's wrong with me from the perspective of females other than I'm more on the quiet and serious side.
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