He says he doesn't want a partner right now, but he acts like one?

So, I've been seeing this guy (we're both 30) for about six weeks, he's very nice and chill. We spend his days off together each week, talk daily, he is very affectionate, and frequently tells me that I'm "good people". We were chatting recently and he said that he's not looking for anything long term right now and that he's still putting himself back together after his long term relationship of 11 years fell apart. It didn't have a good ending, and that he wants to just take things one step at a time. I told him I'm chill with that, I think he's a great guy and we can take our time and see where it goes. I'm really not in any rush and I'm patient. If it works out great if not at least I enjoy our time together.

Then he really emphasized how he's not wanting a partner right now, he's not wanting to be a part of a team. Which, considering he was with someone for so long it makes sense that he wants to learn to stand on his own two feet again. My only confusion is that...he acts like a partner. He's kind, he's carrying, he gives me all his free time, he helps with the cooking, we go grocery shopping, he gets very concerned when I hurt myself (ADHD and I walk into everything) he's very attentive and big into snuggles and physical affection (not just sex) we talk and have open and honest conversations, I pick him up from work, we talk daily... For a guy that doesn't want to be "a partner" right now, be sure acts like one.

My question is this: usually when a guy says "I'm not sure what I want right now/not looking for anything serious right now" you run cuz you know they just want sex or some fun and you'll be ditched once it gets to the "so, where is this going" stage. Does this man just need patients, space, and to take things slow? Is this a rare case of a man just needing to know that they are safe and that I'm not his ex?



Submitted April 15, 2022 at 12:15AM

So, I've been seeing this guy (we're both 30) for about six weeks, he's very nice and chill. We spend his days off together each week, talk daily, he is very affectionate, and frequently tells me that I'm "good people". We were chatting recently and he said that he's not looking for anything long term right now and that he's still putting himself back together after his long term relationship of 11 years fell apart. It didn't have a good ending, and that he wants to just take things one step at a time. I told him I'm chill with that, I think he's a great guy and we can take our time and see where it goes. I'm really not in any rush and I'm patient. If it works out great if not at least I enjoy our time together.Then he really emphasized how he's not wanting a partner right now, he's not wanting to be a part of a team. Which, considering he was with someone for so long it makes sense that he wants to learn to stand on his own two feet again. My only confusion is that...he acts like a partner. He's kind, he's carrying, he gives me all his free time, he helps with the cooking, we go grocery shopping, he gets very concerned when I hurt myself (ADHD and I walk into everything) he's very attentive and big into snuggles and physical affection (not just sex) we talk and have open and honest conversations, I pick him up from work, we talk daily... For a guy that doesn't want to be "a partner" right now, be sure acts like one.My question is this: usually when a guy says "I'm not sure what I want right now/not looking for anything serious right now" you run cuz you know they just want sex or some fun and you'll be ditched once it gets to the "so, where is this going" stage. Does this man just need patients, space, and to take things slow? Is this a rare case of a man just needing to know that they are safe and that I'm not his ex?
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