Should I keep trying to see them?

Pardon because this is a little long. I have been seeing this friend of mine for the last 3 months. Earlier this month, she told me that we should take a step back and take things slower and bring things back to more of a “friend level”. She stated that she doesn’t want to stop hanging out because of how much fun she has with me.

I just assumed she was letting me down gently after she said we should just be friends/take things at a slower pace. So I didn’t contact her for a week and a half to try heal over the hurt feelings and move on.

Monday last week, I had posted on a social media story that I was playing a show that coming Friday which she saw. Then she texted me Thursday asking why I didn’t check with her to see if she wanted to go, being facetious. We talked for a bit and she asked to hangout again that weekend which I agreed to for Saturday. Then the next day she wished me a good show.

Saturday came and she ended up bailing because she was spending time with her family, which I understood and said “no worries”. I was trying to be genuinely understanding and nice, but by this point I was ready to pull away and move on with this whole situation because she has put me on the shelf a few times since we started seeing each other, not contacting me for a week or 2 after we hang out a few times in a row.

She apologized profusely and thanked me for understanding, but then asked to hangout the next week which I replied that I would let her know when I was free which she understood. Later that night, she really pushed to hang out again, so I agreed again. We are supposed to see each other tomorrow.

My question is: should I keep trying to entertain the idea of trying to keep seeing this friend or pull away and move on? At times it feels like she keeps me at arms length just to keep me around. After she said that we should remain friends, I really took a step back and looked inward realizing that maybe I should just be single for a little while and do my thing because I just got out of a long term relationship the end of last year. Any advice would be helpful, thank you.



Submitted March 02, 2022 at 01:11AM

Pardon because this is a little long. I have been seeing this friend of mine for the last 3 months. Earlier this month, she told me that we should take a step back and take things slower and bring things back to more of a “friend level”. She stated that she doesn’t want to stop hanging out because of how much fun she has with me.I just assumed she was letting me down gently after she said we should just be friends/take things at a slower pace. So I didn’t contact her for a week and a half to try heal over the hurt feelings and move on.Monday last week, I had posted on a social media story that I was playing a show that coming Friday which she saw. Then she texted me Thursday asking why I didn’t check with her to see if she wanted to go, being facetious. We talked for a bit and she asked to hangout again that weekend which I agreed to for Saturday. Then the next day she wished me a good show.Saturday came and she ended up bailing because she was spending time with her family, which I understood and said “no worries”. I was trying to be genuinely understanding and nice, but by this point I was ready to pull away and move on with this whole situation because she has put me on the shelf a few times since we started seeing each other, not contacting me for a week or 2 after we hang out a few times in a row.She apologized profusely and thanked me for understanding, but then asked to hangout the next week which I replied that I would let her know when I was free which she understood. Later that night, she really pushed to hang out again, so I agreed again. We are supposed to see each other tomorrow.My question is: should I keep trying to entertain the idea of trying to keep seeing this friend or pull away and move on? At times it feels like she keeps me at arms length just to keep me around. After she said that we should remain friends, I really took a step back and looked inward realizing that maybe I should just be single for a little while and do my thing because I just got out of a long term relationship the end of last year. Any advice would be helpful, thank you.
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