Dating someone new while getting over someone

Im (29F) seeing someone new. He’s great. I make him very happy and he makes me relatively happy. We were casual and then turned into a serious relationship recently. I know I shouldn’t have even allowed someone new into my life while i still have feelings for an ex. I hate even calling him (ex) that because we dated only 6 months. I ended things because I was at my wits end with being unofficial and I couldn’t keep doing what we were doing without labels. He said he couldn’t give me what I need at the time because of personal/professional issues. he is continuing to chat w me here and there and I feel like I’m getting breadcrumbed.

I never expressed the depth of my feelings to him because I don’t like to advertise every feeling outwardly. I keep my cards close to the chest until I have the security of a relationship. He asked for more time or to talk things over but I didn’t give him the chance to. I just abruptly ended things explaining I don’t do casual this long. but he really opened my eyes to how little I was getting my needs met before.

It was like seeing something you never even knew existed but now that you do, you need so badly. I had never been so head over heels about anyone in my life. He made every other long term relationship feel like a meaningless high school crush. My friends tell me they had never seen me be this enamored and animated by someone and I have a very long and storied dating history.

I asked myself what I would do if he came to me ready to commit and if I’m honest with myself, I would leave anyone for him, and that scares the living hell out of me. I’ve never met anyone who can make me feel anything that deeply. But now that I’ve met him, no one else even comes close. it’s easier telling myself he’s a bad person because hating is easier than missing him. It’s been 6 months since we last saw each other than I’m still no closer to getting rid of this feeling. The man I’m with now doesn’t deserve any of this. I like him and could see myself long term w him, he just doesn’t inspire the same depth from me. I should end things but how I can explain this delicately to my current partner is lost on me. I feel so shitty. I want to cause him as little pain as possible.

Submitted March 05, 2022 at 06:51PM

Im (29F) seeing someone new. He’s great. I make him very happy and he makes me relatively happy. We were casual and then turned into a serious relationship recently. I know I shouldn’t have even allowed someone new into my life while i still have feelings for an ex. I hate even calling him (ex) that because we dated only 6 months. I ended things because I was at my wits end with being unofficial and I couldn’t keep doing what we were doing without labels. He said he couldn’t give me what I need at the time because of personal/professional issues. he is continuing to chat w me here and there and I feel like I’m getting breadcrumbed.I never expressed the depth of my feelings to him because I don’t like to advertise every feeling outwardly. I keep my cards close to the chest until I have the security of a relationship. He asked for more time or to talk things over but I didn’t give him the chance to. I just abruptly ended things explaining I don’t do casual this long. but he really opened my eyes to how little I was getting my needs met before.It was like seeing something you never even knew existed but now that you do, you need so badly. I had never been so head over heels about anyone in my life. He made every other long term relationship feel like a meaningless high school crush. My friends tell me they had never seen me be this enamored and animated by someone and I have a very long and storied dating history.I asked myself what I would do if he came to me ready to commit and if I’m honest with myself, I would leave anyone for him, and that scares the living hell out of me. I’ve never met anyone who can make me feel anything that deeply. But now that I’ve met him, no one else even comes close. it’s easier telling myself he’s a bad person because hating is easier than missing him. It’s been 6 months since we last saw each other than I’m still no closer to getting rid of this feeling. The man I’m with now doesn’t deserve any of this. I like him and could see myself long term w him, he just doesn’t inspire the same depth from me. I should end things but how I can explain this delicately to my current partner is lost on me. I feel so shitty. I want to cause him as little pain as possible.